(CNN)President Donald Trump jetted to South Carolina on Monday night to rally support for Gov. Henry McMaster, who faces a runoff fight today. The President, as he so often does, spoke for an hour mostly about himself, his enemies, his friends and his thoughts on everything from Jimmy Fallon to Arnold Schwarzenegger and back. And oh yeah, he supports McMaster.
I went through the transcript from Monday night's speech and highlighted the 55 most newsworthy, cringe-inducing and just plain odd lines. They're below.
1. "They said, 'Sir, would you mind going back? Would you mind if we didn't stop?' I said, 'There's no way. We cannot stop,' right?"
The weather above South Carolina wasn't great, forcing the Trump plane to circle for the better part of an hour before landing. Also: "There's no way. We cannot stop" is a decent slogan for the Trump presidency. And away we go!
4. "We got Pennsylvania and we got Florida. We started off that night: 'Donald Trump has won the state of Florida,' right? And they go, 'Whoa, whoa, they just lost Florida.'"
The 2016 election ended 595 days ago.
counting the days since the election
7. "Now, you know we have a lot of fake news back there, these fakers."
The amazing thing about Trump's attack on the media here (and often) is the contradiction that sits at the center of it: He wants to attack the media as fake but then also get credit for the number of journalists who cover him.
9. "So please get your asses out tomorrow and vote."
Real quote from the President of the United States.
yeah, because the Donald does not play by your rules, fake news. refer to #7
10. "I don't care. I don't care. And I like her. She was another one right from the beginning. She didn't talk about other people, right?"
What's important here is that a) Trump doesn't care and b) He liked Arrington, the state legislator who beat Sanford, because she liked him first. Trump is purely transactional. Say nice things about him, he will say nice things about you. Attack him and he will attack you. It's that simple.
21. "Sometimes you have to toot your own horn because nobody else is going to do it."
Donald Trump, explained in 16 words.
43. "The Democrats want to protect illegals coming into this country, some of whom are not good, some of whom cause lots of problems in the worst possible way, they want to protect illegals coming into the country, much more so than they want to protect you, and that's not where we're coming from, OK?"
This feels like an oversimplification. Also, on a serious note: Trump is saying that Democrats care more about illegals than people in that room. It's "us" vs. "them." Always.
Yeah, because you do.
44. "Hey look. I got a bad hand, I got the job, and trade deals were bad. I mean, how bad were trade deals?"
Trump's most natural stance is an aggrieved victim. He sees his victimhood in absolutely everything.
45. "So, Canada, 'Oh, Canada,' I love their national anthem, 'Oh, Canada,' I like ours better, however."
Donald Trump's definitive ranking of national anthems:
What, you don't? Oh yeah, because you're gonna move to Canada.
48. "And by the way, I have these stupid teleprompters, you don't mind that I haven't used them all night, do you? Every once in a while -- every once in a while I look at it, I mean, it's so boring, we don't want it."
I do not mind. Not at all.
yeah, because the Donald does not play by your rules, fake news. refer to #9
49. "No, I, you know, I'm looking, I keep looking, I just see things, and just -- they're true, but they're not quite as exciting."
Trump is talking about what is written on his teleprompter -- and, in so doing, revealing his true entertainer nature. He wants to hear the cheers of the crowd. Badly.
is that a bad thing to you? oh yeah, because your candidate can only get cheers by talking about how much she's a woman and not a lizard
54. "We're going to win at space."
What, exactly, would this entail?
55. "By the way, Henry, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, Air Force, right, Air Force, and what are we going to do? Space Force. People love that."
SPACE FORCE. People love that. You know what? Let's end on that!
The Space Marines are coming, people.