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I don't know about anybody else, but I love cruising around Craigslist just to find ridiculous crap that people are selling, offering, doing, or ranting about. 

 

For those of you not familiar, Craigslist is a sort of online marketplace where you can sell your wares, your skills, or even yourself. 

 

Here's a thread dedicated to the Best/Worst of Craigslist.

 

I'll start it off with something bizarre but safe for work. 

 

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phx/6100073306.html

 

Free 18' Sailboat

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Free 18' Sailboat. Grandpa was a sailor, missed the open water and so he hired a crane to drop a sailboat in his swimming pool. Time to get the boat out. Free to anyone who can remove the boat without damaging the block wall or landscaping. Serious inquires only. No trailer, no boom, no sails or rigging. Rudder? Yes. Still free. Thank you.
 

 

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One of my favorite types of posts on Craigslist are for incredibly expensive/tricked out offroad vehicles that have never seen dirt.  Here we have a few examples. 

 

https://fortcollins.craigslist.org/cto/6176372109.html

 

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 2015 Jeep Wrangler JK Unlimited Rubicon Hard Rock - Like New - $38000(Boulder) 

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Garaged and washed every time it got a little dirty 

Anvil color, Dual tops, Side air bags, Engine block heater, 2.5" AEV lift, 16x8 American Classic wheels, GY Duratrac's, Brand new Wet Okole front seat covers, Bestop bikini + cargo cover, Black stenciling instead of the red, NEVER DRIVEN OFF ROAD, 32k miles and no lien. Vehicle is parked at 3600 Arapahoe Ave in Boulder if anyone wants to take a look - I work in the building.

**Blue book excellent = $36000 + new bikini top + upgraded wheels (including a 5th spare wheel) + new seat covers + lift kit + extra front grill (we were thinking of changing grill color to black and bought a new unpainted grill but never did it)

 

 

Or even better, 

 

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2016 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon - Over $20k in aftermarket MODS! - $53500 

 

Like the title says, 

Up for sale is my one of a kind Jeep Wrangler Rubicon in "Rhino" color, This Jeep has been built to handle just about anything you throw at it!

It was built using only the BEST names in the industry. It currently only has 26k miles and is ready to rock! It has over $20k in just aftermarket parts, that doesn't include labor OR paint/powdercoat!

 

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https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/6202824840.html

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I love this next one. I found it today, and it exemplifies the "Dude, that looks awesome! I wanna do tha-oh look something else" type of people. 

 

I'm going to explain this one first. In this posting, you will see a mint condition full suspension mountain bike. You will also see tons of accessories, tools, riding gear, a full face helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, etc. The kind of kit meant for some pretty XTREMEtm riding. 

 

Here's what happened. This guy watched a cool video on Youtube about mountain biking. It got him very excited, so he decided to drop About $4,000 on just about everything that he was told he needed for some super cool riding. 

 

And then after a ride or two, he realized that riding bikes is hard and everything just sorta sat there. 

 

So now we have the "I have bad impulse control" craigslist posting.

 

https://fortcollins.craigslist.org/bik/6199921494.html

 

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2017 Giant Stance - $2000 

 

2017 Giant Stance full suspension mountain bike. Small frame 27.5. Telescopic seat post. Excellent condition, never rode in mountains, hardly used. Kept indoors. Beautiful bike. Comes with spare tires, spare tubes, Urge full face helmet, Co2 pump, and regular pump. Owners manual. Cash only

 

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The 18 footer might actually be a bargain even where you have to buy a trailer for it and hire a crane to get it out of the water. The value of the thing sitting at harbour is anything from $1500-$8000.

 

18 foot enclosed is a bit of a weird size though. It's just a hair longer than the dinghies I used to sail.

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Thumb wrestling Partner - m4t

 

I need somebody to thumb wrestle. I love the sport and am very passionate about it. I have different stage names for my (left) thumb, but the most famous that you may have heard about (if you know the TW crowd) is El Chupa Thumbrah. he has a little mustache and I paint a red and green leotard on him for events. I am mostly looking for left handed partners to compete against and cheer on, but anyone with a caring and supportive demeanor and the grip of a teenage offshore drill hand is welcome.I also enjoy crocheting, shadow puppeteering and speed snapping to keep my fingers loose.

 

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/crp/5402624729.html

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https://cosprings.craigslist.org/cto/d/chevey-mazda-collector-car/6226740549.html

 

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1980 chevey Mazda collector car 

 

Class 3 surviver collector car!
2+2 model designed to be modified to a hot rod!

 

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So... Should we tell him or....

 

Honestly the interior is MINT and I'd buy this in a heartbeat just to stick a 5.3L LS in it.

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https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/6081724682.html

 

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Looking for Smash hater from 1991 WWF House Show

1
 
Dear sir,

You were at this show (which must have been of the last pre-Repo Man performances for Smash) in about 1991 or so; the main event was Ultimate Warrior vs The Undertaker... which roughly lines up with that years Summerslam and the WWF's then-habit of just recycling those main events for months after on house shows.

Anyway, Smash was on the card as a low midcarder, having seen the Demolition push completely destroyed by the arrival of LOD/Road Warriors. But, I was still a pretty big fan of Smash so when he came out, I wormed my way through to the aisle to get a good look at him. You sir, were obviously no fan of Smash and took it upon yourself to yell "Smash, you suck!"

Now, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but you did however, leave me in the lurch when Smash stopped his ring walk and approached the aisle to confront who he assumed had insulted him: Me.

You were clearly much older than me, as you had a loud adult voice. And I'm not sure why he thought a 12 year old could have yelled that powerfully, but who am I to judge. I'm willing to completely let bygones be bygones on this... I just need you to come clean to Smash and admit it was you and get me off the hook.

I now live in Philadelphia and Demolition is coming here to wrestle in what is probably a very small and depressing venue. If he recognizes me, there's a very strong chance he, like a tiger backed into a corner, feels he has nothing to lose and attacks me. I'm pretty sure he's an old man and I could probably take him PHYSICALLY, but mentally I would rather it not come to that.

I will do what I can to put you both in touch. I think it's time we all made our peace. Thank you.

 

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On 7/27/2017 at 7:32 PM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

https://cosprings.craigslist.org/cto/d/chevey-mazda-collector-car/6226740549.html

 

 

00u0u_l7BXlUNUQ2S_1200x900.jpg

 

00B0B_hV8eYQKaTOs_1200x900.jpg

 

So... Should we tell him or....

 

Honestly the interior is MINT and I'd buy this in a heartbeat just to stick a 5.3L LS in it.

FFS...

 

It's a Chevy Monza. NOT a Mazda...

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Oh this one is good. 

 

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/6256316306.html

 

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Wanted woman who wants to conceive child during totality eclipse in OR

 
I am 40 years of age, caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure.

My looks, instincts, knowledge and strength is 100% pure and 100% lethal.

I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty and smarts. To join me - to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon. 

Exact place not set. 

If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening. 

When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution.

We will make love together, with me and my penis directed towards the sun.
Everything will be aligned in the local universe.
Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets. 

In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything, and together, create a new universe. Full of love...

You must like cats. Drugs are OK. Nitrous Oxide while we climax and experience totality and conception, is OK with me.

 

 

Do we have any members in Cali, and if so, will they please stop trying to have demon babies?

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Typical fucking Californian, moving to Oregon so he can sire demonic spawn during the eclipse when there are already enough local cultists wanting to do the same thing.

 

Californians are all the same.

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