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The terrible movies and reviews thread


Toxn

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I think all superheroes have a never-mentioned power that makes anything they touch invulnerable.  Also, weird momentum-cancelling effects.  You see this all the time; large sums of delicious money are spent on special effects to have Lieutenant Imperialism toss a car at some baddy to show how strong they are.  

 

You can't pick cars up like that though, and it isn't an issue of how strong you are.  Unless Wonder Woman is heavier than the tank she can't just pick it up like that; she'd just do a handstand over it instead.  For another, cars, ships, even tanks aren't that strong.  If she really tried to lift it that way bits of it would wrench off in her hands, and it would very likely bend.  It's designed to support is weight on its tracks, not on a tiny area on its turret.

I feel that this is not nitpicking at all.  It should be obvious to anyone who's ever interacted with things.  Like, by picking them up and pushing them or trying to get the unstuck.  Is there some unspoken convention that all super-heroics on-screen have to look incredibly fake?

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On ‎29‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 8:09 PM, Collimatrix said:

I think all superheroes have a never-mentioned power that makes anything they touch invulnerable.  Also, weird momentum-cancelling effects.  You see this all the time; large sums of delicious money are spent on special effects to have Lieutenant Imperialism toss a car at some baddy to show how strong they are.  

 

You can't pick cars up like that though, and it isn't an issue of how strong you are.  Unless Wonder Woman is heavier than the tank she can't just pick it up like that; she'd just do a handstand over it instead.  For another, cars, ships, even tanks aren't that strong.  If she really tried to lift it that way bits of it would wrench off in her hands, and it would very likely bend.  It's designed to support is weight on its tracks, not on a tiny area on its turret.

I feel that this is not nitpicking at all.  It should be obvious to anyone who's ever interacted with things.  Like, by picking them up and pushing them or trying to get the unstuck.  Is there some unspoken convention that all super-heroics on-screen have to look incredibly fake?

The problem is that people are really bad at intuitively understanding anything to do with mass, volume, momentum, energy and so on.

 

Cars and tanks are big and seem strong, so they slot into the 'big strong object' category of the brain along with giant rocks. The idea that they couldn't survive being casually picked up simply doesn't occur.

 

A whole lot of human mental processes work of similarly crappy heuristics: I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be a biologist and watch any depiction of animals on screen. This gets even worse when people try to make up their own creatures.

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On 7/11/2017 at 7:22 PM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

Ok hold the fucking phone.

 

Lap pools are MAYBE 4 feet deep. Any deeper is a waste. EDIT: OK THERE MIGHT BE SOME POOLS SET UP THAT ARE DEEPER BUT THAT IS NOT THE NORM, AND THESE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEY ARE AT A LARGE COMPLEX AND SO THEY PROBABLY HAVE SEPARATE LAP POOL AREAS? IT STILL MAKES NO SENSE.

 

Most lap pools are fairly warm. If it's not a competition natatorium, then the temperature is like 75 degrees. 

 

There is no way in hell someone would be left in the pool after closing. 

 

Most pools don't get covered unless they are outdoor, and even then the system is 1) Not that complex 2) not that strong or sturdy.

 

LOL when the girl tried to pull up on a drain. 1) Physically impossible 2) if she did manage to do it she'd just get sucked into it and plug it with her body.

 

So it was daytime when they started. And now the pool is closing and they are stuck? 

 

Now I never did a TON of training on my swim. Maybe 1.5 km at a time. But even my buddies who race in IRONMAN competitions (Which requires a 2.4 mile swim) aren't in the pool for over two hours at a time. So am I expected to believe that these people just spent nearly ten hours training in a pool "for funsies" and yet somehow in that time one didn't turn to the other and go "Let's go fucking demolish a pizza"

 

Because that's how real swimmers are. 

 

 

Yep, there are building codes that require the controls for auto covers to be in view of the pool.  So you can watch it open and close, because you don't want someone in the pool when closing it, and B, they are expensive as fuck to fix, and if a guide jams, things break and they suck to fix, when you only have so much time on site to clean a pool.   Also, there are no remote cover controls, or modern ones you can set to open or close and walk away, just for the reason of trapping people or animals. 

 

There is no such hard cover like that for pools, at least that I've seem. like two or three sections of hard stuff for spas, and they suck, but even three sections hinged, a normal female adult could lift off, unless locked down. To lock it down on a spa with someone in it would be murder, you can't do it without being aware someone is in the spa, unless they are already dead and its dark or something. 

 

You don't need some crazy fucking scenario for people to die in a pool. Drains on modern pools are designed to no suck you down and trap you while sucking your intestines out, but pools have been around a fuck of a long time, and some last, and old pool equipment can be crazy overpowered, but you will never find unsafe stuff in a public pool, only old backyard pools. 

 

Most people die from swimming alone, and having another medical emergency, like a stroke or heart attack. Or diving in and hitting your head. Crimped people like to commit suicide in pools. 

Kids, with stupid fucking parents, little kids, 4 and under, die swimming un supervised all the time.  The cover can kill too, if it breaks partly open, kids or pets can get in and not out, though most auto covers are setup so the shallow end opens first, but if steps are not exposed and a kid or pet falls in a partly open pool, they are going to die. 

 

Public pools and spas in most cases are going to be mechanically safe. The reason I don't swim in public, hotel or amusement park pools is the chems. You have to have an automatic system that adds chlorine or another sanitizer to the pool. The most common is a 55 gallon crock with small pump that injects the chlorine into one of the pools return lines.  You can even get super trick and have a system that add acid for PH control, but I've never seen one on a public pool.  The problem with these systems is you have to have a marginally skilled person testing the pool and calibrating the chlorine pump and manually adding acid.  If this is not done right, the water can become dangerous to swim in and people can get some nasty diseases. 

 

People shit in public pools. Fact. 

 

Public spas are just nasty, unless they drain the things daily, its very hard to keep water 103F sanitary if lots of people get in it and piss. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

21952385_10214141048590021_819172901_o.j

 

So today, the fiance and I are crawling around some mountain towns and we come across this vinyl in a junk-store. It's to a movie. 

 

We're thinking... Porn? 

 

Found the synopsis. 

 

Quote
A story of natural love.
Two children are shipwrecked alone on a lost tropical island. Nature is kind to them. They thrive on the bounty of the jungle and the lagoon. The boy grows tall. The girl beautiful. They swim naked over coral reefs. They run in a cathedral of trees. And the warm winds, the tropic moon, the silk sand conspire to enchant them. When their love happens, it is natural as the sea, and as powerful. Love as nature intended to be.
Their wooden ship burns at sea and two children are left to survive alone, lost forever in a tropical paradise. But on one side of this island, they discover a dangerous mystery: dark, sinister. On the other side, they discover desire.
A sensuous story of natural love.

 

Yup. Porn.

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