The terrible movies and reviews thread

[Jeeps_Guns_Tanks]

Wasn't this already done with the 'Last House on the left' and its remakes, and "I spit on your grave," and it's remakes?

 

 

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

[LoooSeR]

 

[Mogensthegreat]

Ghost Dog: The Way of The Samurai:

 

 

A ghetto samurai with a fleet of messenger pigeons (whom he lives among on a rooftop in New York), is hunted by the mafia after he kills a senior member.

[Walter_Sobchak]

I'll probably be skipping this one in the theaters.

 

 

[Donward]

So the handjob ghost is from Sammamish, Washington?

 

I'll buy that considering the last girl I hung out with who was from that soulless, cul-de-sac, shithole.

[LoooSeR]

 

I liked first movie.

[Legiondude]

I liked the first few movies, but this franchise needs to be put out to pasture

[Donward]

This looks like deliciously terrible popcorn munching fare. Although I wonder how they clean their "hand" guns? Do they just pour Hoppes #9 down their ulna cavity and jam a cleaning brush in their palm hole? Where does the brass eject, or are they using caseless ammo? Do their hands begin smelling like BBQ after a prolonged firefight?

 

 

[Scolopax]

There's another trailer for it somewhere back in the thread.  It looks like it basically has the same exact plot line as the new Venom movie, except it's an experiment AI that merges with him instead of alien goo.

 

I feel that this could have possibly been something fun, but that'd be expecting way too too much.

 

 

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

3 hours ago, Scolopax said:

There's another trailer for it somewhere back in the thread.  It looks like it basically has the same exact plot line as the new Venom movie, except it's an experiment AI that merges with him instead of alien goo.

 

I feel that this could have possibly been something fun, but that'd be expecting way too too much.

 

 

This is going to be really stupid, but it'll have a few moments that will make me laugh.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

 

 

How have I not seen this yet.

[Jeeps_Guns_Tanks]

I think this classic will beat it. 

 

Rita Hayworth was HOT!

[Walter_Sobchak]

 

[Jeeps_Guns_Tanks]

 

 

Saw the Death Wish Movie. Figured it would be shit, and mega gory, turned out to be ok, and not that gory.  The first was still way more R rated starting with a brutal rape, not just murder. 

[Donward]

If it was not called Death Wish @Jeeps_Guns_Tanks and simply something else, would your initial impression be as bad?

[Jeeps_Guns_Tanks]

Well, knowing the director, I expected gore over substance, but overall, for a modern movie, I liked it well enough.  And Bruce Willis is about as close as you can get to a Charles B in modern Hollywood. 

 

Though thinking about it, are the Leam Neeson Taken movies a Death Wish ripoff??

 

Also, the main bad guy, was also a bad guy in the Nice Guys movie. I also like that movie. 

[Scolopax]

 

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

7 hours ago, Scolopax said:

 

"We have to stop London before it destroys us!"

 

Hear that, @Sgt.Squarehead? HEAR THAT?

 

Also, I unapologetic ally love this trailer and think this movie will be dumb as all hell and I still want to watch it.

[Belesarius]

8 hours ago, Scolopax said:

 

Ok, gonna need a 6 pack of beer and a couple of grams of weed first to suspend disbelief, but it looks like it might be a fun ride after that.

 

 

[Donward]

8 hours ago, Scolopax said:

 

 

Peter Jackson.

 

NOT 

EVEN

ONCE

TWICE

THRICE

[Sgt.Squarehead]

 

17 hours ago, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

"We have to stop London before it destroys us!"

 

Hear that, @Sgt.Squarehead? HEAR THAT?

 

I've been telling you that for over a year now! 

 

17 hours ago, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

Also, I unapologetic ally love this trailer and think this movie will be dumb as all hell and I still want to watch it.

 

16 hours ago, Belesarius said:

Ok, gonna need a 6 pack of beer and a couple of grams of weed first to suspend disbelief, but it looks like it might be a fun ride after that.

 

I felt the same way about the Mortal Engines books.....My cousins bought them for me and TBH I was a bit skecptical at first, but I read them anyway (I'll read anything if I'm bored enough) and thoroughly enjoyed them. 

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

On 5/27/2018 at 10:03 AM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

 

 

How have I not seen this yet.

In 20 years from now, this movie will be featured in episode #4938 of Best of the Worst.

[Donward]

So I finally decided to catch up on the Quentin Tarantino movies, broke down, and watched Hateful Eight because it was free on Netflix and I had a day of bachelor time. And I still remain convinced that the man hasn't made a good movie in a decade and a half and has only made three remotely good movies in his life. (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol. 1).

 

Going into the film I had low expectations given the absolute clusterfuck that was Django Unchained and I got fooled for the first half of the movie thinking it wasn't that bad.

 

You had Tarantino's signature community college Intro to American film history homage to Sergio Leone with the music and the LONG establishing shots. And it was creepy seeing the Weinstein name splashed everywhere since this is the first movie of his that I've watched since #metoo but I wasn't going to hold that against the film. And the anachronistic dialogue mother-fucking its way through every racial epithet is what I expect from pasty-white, suburban-raised Tarantino because dropping the N-bomb is what America has told him he needs to do in order to be cool. So that didn't bother me.

 

And there was a strong ensemble cast. I always dig Kurt Russel, particularly when he is able to chew through his lines with his John Wayne impersonation. We had old friends like Tim Roth and Michael Madsen and Bruce Dern show up and Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson. And about an hour and half of witty dialogue and banter went by because that's what you expect from a Tarantino film. Bounty hunters and strangers thrust together into a cabin in a Wyoming blizzard and someone isn't telling the truth. So the movie's pacing is methodical. Very methodical. We get it, it's a Sergio Leone homage. So far. So good.

 

And then Samuel L. Jackson started getting his dick sucked by a naked dude in the snow while laughing maniacally.

 

...

 

And after that, we got waves of theater blood splashed around. And an extended montage where people got shot. And it was supposed to be funny because the lines were written that way. But instead it was just boring like all the actors realized that they're back in a Tarantino flick and they're covered in theater blood. And hey, wasn't this novel back in 1992 in Reservoir Dogs? Well we're doing it again but in Western duds.

 

And it wasn't fun. And it wasn't novel. And it was three hours long. And there weren't any memorable lines. And I watched Samuel L. Jackson mimicking having his dick sucked by a naked dude in the snow while he laughed maniacally. 

 

 

95 percent of the trailer is the "good" part of the movie before the dick-sucking and Deathproof redux.

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

On 6/9/2018 at 3:29 PM, Donward said:

So I finally decided to catch up on the Quentin Tarantino movies, broke down, and watched Hateful Eight because it was free on Netflix and I had a day of bachelor time. And I still remain convinced that the man hasn't made a good movie in a decade and a half and has only made three remotely good movies in his life. (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol. 1).

 

Going into the film I had low expectations given the absolute clusterfuck that was Django Unchained and I got fooled for the first half of the movie thinking it wasn't that bad.

 

You had Tarantino's signature community college Intro to American film history homage to Sergio Leone with the music and the LONG establishing shots. And it was creepy seeing the Weinstein name splashed everywhere since this is the first movie of his that I've watched since #metoo but I wasn't going to hold that against the film. And the anachronistic dialogue mother-fucking its way through every racial epithet is what I expect from pasty-white, suburban-raised Tarantino because dropping the N-bomb is what America has told him he needs to do in order to be cool. So that didn't bother me.

 

And there was a strong ensemble cast. I always dig Kurt Russel, particularly when he is able to chew through his lines with his John Wayne impersonation. We had old friends like Tim Roth and Michael Madsen and Bruce Dern show up and Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson. And about an hour and half of witty dialogue and banter went by because that's what you expect from a Tarantino film. Bounty hunters and strangers thrust together into a cabin in a Wyoming blizzard and someone isn't telling the truth. So the movie's pacing is methodical. Very methodical. We get it, it's a Sergio Leone homage. So far. So good.

 

And then Samuel L. Jackson started getting his dick sucked by a naked dude in the snow while laughing maniacally.

 

...

 

And after that, we got waves of theater blood splashed around. And an extended montage where people got shot. And it was supposed to be funny because the lines were written that way. But instead it was just boring like all the actors realized that they're back in a Tarantino flick and they're covered in theater blood. And hey, wasn't this novel back in 1992 in Reservoir Dogs? Well we're doing it again but in Western duds.

 

And it wasn't fun. And it wasn't novel. And it was three hours long. And there weren't any memorable lines. And I watched Samuel L. Jackson mimicking having his dick sucked by a naked dude in the snow while he laughed maniacally. 

 

 

95 percent of the trailer is the "good" part of the movie before the dick-sucking and Deathproof redux.

 

 

Yep, pretty much.  Although, I found the first half of the film somewhat boring to be honest.  It was the first time I caught myself checking my watch during a Tarantino film.