The terrible movies and reviews thread

[Xlucine]

1 hour ago, Toxn said:

Statistics.

 

That's just anova false prophet

[Toxn]

So apparently Spielberg managed to make a passable (not great) movie out of Ready Player One... by rewriting almost every part of it.

 

 

[Sturgeon]

On 3/28/2018 at 12:39 PM, Toxn said:

So apparently Spielberg managed to make a passable (not great) movie out of Ready Player One... by rewriting almost every part of it.

 

 

 

Interesting...

[LoooSeR]

Watched yesterday Ready Player One (was not my idea).

 

   In short - 6\10 for me, movie is slightly above average. Plot is stupid and obvious (don't play games kids), drama is rather flat as characters are mostly boring and\or underdeveloped. Action is at times not that great, although action was most funny thing in this movie (sometimes not intentionally). A lot of game and movies references that are in the movie just to be references with exception of one game in end scenes. Few interesting parts of the movie were pretty good, like with The Shining movie scenes.

 

   Recommend for almost everone to skip this film, not bother wih this movie with exception of those who want to check their ability to see references to other pop culture products during confusing shaky battle scenes. "Human" part is boring, action is kind of flat at times, few scenes are shot like Star Wars prequels with a lot of blinking lights and situation so chaotic that you don't understand what is happening, "the message" of Ready Player_None made my eyes roll at supersonic speed and explode.

[LoooSeR]

I have very mixed feeling about this. 

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

2 hours ago, LoooSeR said:

I have very mixed feeling about this. 

 

 

So, Mad Max but with James Franco and a robot chick?  No thanks.

[LoooSeR]

2 hours ago, Walter_Sobchak said:

 

So, Mad Max but with James Franco and a robot chick?  No thanks.

I actually ok with both, but i am much more sceptical about other "actors". 

[LoooSeR]

Watched 2 days ago movie A Quiet Place. 

 

 

   This is a mix between drama and horror where Earth was taken over by deadly CGI alien creatures who hunt using only sound. Simple but a bit interesting premise. I will not spoil it for you (as there is not much to spoil). This is a straight-forward film which can be watched once and then forgotten in matter of hours as there is nothing more outside of camera lense, everything relevant to this simple story is on a screen.

   Characters are normal people, situation is also simple and understandable, drama part of A Quiet Place is major focus, horror - less so, movie have few intense action scenes. Almost whole film happens in small area with one family, very little happens outside of that area and this family relations. 

   Will recommend to watch it not in cinema will many people, as movie itself is pretty quiet and somebody eating pop corn and chips will be heard very well. So either watch it in almost empty cinema hall, or later on your computer screen. I give it 7\10, good enough.

    

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

The trailer ruined the movie for me. I know there will probably be a very tense moment where a woman must not make noise even through the pains of contractions. 

 

But what piased me off the most in the trailer was the kid's little toy. He stops and decided to play with it. 

 

Ok, so your entire society has been filled by these creatures (somehow) and you know exactly how they hunt. 

 

Why in the world would you allow your child to own a toy that makes sound?

[LoooSeR]

12 minutes ago, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

The trailer ruined the movie for me. I know there will probably be a very tense moment where a woman must not make noise even through the pains of contractions. 

 

But what piased me off the most in the trailer was the kid's little toy. He stops and decided to play with it. 

 

Ok, so your entire society has been filled by these creatures (somehow) and you know exactly how they hunt. 

 

Why in the world would you allow your child to own a toy that makes sound?

Toy wasn't allowed for a kid to be taken with him. This scene was like first 5 minutes of the movie, BTW.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

58 minutes ago, LoooSeR said:

Toy wasn't allowed for a kid to be taken with him. This scene was like first 5 minutes of the movie, BTW.

How old is the kid supposed to be?

[LoooSeR]

55 minutes ago, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

How old is the kid supposed to be?

IDK, maybe 5.

 

Movie happens not long time after invasion, IIRC it don't go further than ~470 days after the attack. So kid was born and lived most of his life before apocalypse.

[Walter_Sobchak]

wouldn't it just be easier to set up machines to make background noise for all the livng spaces to mask whatever noise people make?  

[LoooSeR]

1 hour ago, Walter_Sobchak said:

wouldn't it just be easier to set up machines to make background noise for all the livng spaces to mask whatever noise people make?  

aliens reacted to unnatural sounds.

[Walter_Sobchak]

So basically if you fart really loudly, monsters eat you?

[Walter_Sobchak]

This looks like it's going to be a steaming pile of crap.

 

 

[LoooSeR]

1 hour ago, Walter_Sobchak said:

This looks like it's going to be a steaming pile of crap.

 

 

   Robin Wick - Theif Creed: The Batman Singulairty. In some scenes enviroment looks too clean, a lot of unrealistic shit (which i don't mind) and just bad moments/action scenes. But yeah overall it will be mediocre and forgetable movie at best.

[Xlucine]

No longbow, 2/10

[Scolopax]

 

[LoooSeR]

Saw Avengers: Purple Bad Guy Strikes back.

   Kind of boring with few parts that felt alive. Many explosions, river of CGI to wash your eyes in, a drama that missed my brain and heart completely, main villian that i didn't liked at all as he was also kind of bad.

   Didn't had expectations for this movie, i think that Thor 3 and Guardian of the Galaxy 2 were best Marvel movies so far and everything else is disposable comicbook movies that you forget 12 seconds after you left your seat. Problems of Avengers the 3rd are different, i will go through them in short and without spoiling much. 

 

   1) Big number of characters wasn't a problem, they handled it as well as they could by separating them and putting isolated groups of characters in different places. But constant shifting between them hampered my empathy to heroes as scenes futher into the movie had almost non-stop mediocre-ish action and very few moments of breating and interaction (early parts were better because there was more time for characters to be themselfs IMO).

 

   2) All drama was very basic level of Santa Barbara, but with superpowerfull murderers - "i don't want to kill you! You must kill me! What if he kills everyone?". Guardians of the Galaxy parts were the best, i felt like those parts were done by different director - they had more humour, more life in dialogues, like a favorite warm blanket in dark winter nights. Other pieces of draaamaaa - not so much. Found myself wanting to see more explosions instead of purple face supposedly crying.

 

   3) Almost no memorable action/fight scenes. "Here is purple face punching super heroes in desert, here is purple face punching them in forest, here is purple face punching them in SPAAAAACE" and so on. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 had an action scene that resulted in shower of dead pirates falling behind main heroes backs, and i was blown away by it (style, humour, "badass" factor, etc). Can't remember as much about Avengers, even if i saw them just yesterday.

 

   4) Action scenes that my brain actually remember where kind of dumb. I cringed on a scene where afrians where firing lasers against mutant melee-only aliens that were brought to battlefield by triangle spaceships. That whole scene in Wakanda, where Africans with sticks and blue shields fighting against an alien army, with giant blue forceshield above, was giving flashbacks of battle against droids in 1st episode of Star Wars. At one moment i relised how dumb were things that were happening on the screen (supossedly high tech africans screaming like cavemans and dressed a little better than cavemans... instead of continue firing laser against melee mutants... that were brought by spacetravaling civilisation... they charged them armed with swords... and then aliens used giant hamster wheels with spikes.. to brake spaceafricans formations.. and everything done with straight face. WTF is this stupidity?).

 

   5) Main vilian is boring and stupid. He kills only and exactly half of population of planets that he invandes because "resources are limited". Why exactly half, why not 40%, 60%? Why kill those people if you have spaceships to move them around? Why no birth control? Why civilisation with ability to travel through galaxies can't afford to feed a few low-tech civilisations? Why a bad guy with megapower of a whole universe can't miracle some food here and there out of comic book bullshit dimension? And many other questions about motivation of Purple face completely destroyed my perception of main bad guy and of a whole point of this cinema experience. His stupid CGI purple face did not helped as it was not easy at times to see his emotions displayed on that mess, with an asteroid-sized chin stuck on it.

 

      6) Main villian was handled by a movie as biggest and most dangerous creature in the Universe, but i didn't felt that because

Spoiler

he managed to do what he done because of main heroes incompetence. What kind of supervilian is that? He avoid being dead not because of his actions. What kind of Mega-vilian is that?

 

Overall - 6/10, with 5/10 for all parts without Guardians of the Galaxy.

 

 

 

[LoooSeR]

Tanos is interstellar Gopnik - Bratanos

[Donward]

And the best movie marketing scheme of 2018 goes to "Revenge". 

 

 

 

One of the actual trailers.

 

 

I dig how they have a rifle scope on a shotgun.

 

Also, how does a 98 pound woman with zero body fat beat the shit out of three guys after being shot and - I think - impaled on a tree after a terrible fall and left to die without food and water in the heat of the Arizona summer?

 

 

 

 

[D.E. Watters]

On 11/18/2017 at 9:30 AM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

 

I was literally just about to post this. 

 

I honestly cannot believe this is even real. OF ALL THE DAMNED IP'S TO ADAPT TO FILM!?

 

If they don't bash up a moon base I'm rioting.

I'm anxiously awaiting the Q-Bert and Frogger movies.

Loved the Rampage arcades games though...

[D.E. Watters]

4 hours ago, Donward said:

And the best movie marketing scheme of 2018 goes to "Revenge"

 

Also, how does a 98 pound woman with zero body fat beat the shit out of three guys after being shot and - I think - impaled on a tree after a terrible fall and left to die without food and water in the heat of the Arizona summer?

 

My immediate guess is the supernatural, like "The Crow" and several other supernatural revenge flicks.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

5 hours ago, Donward said:

And the best movie marketing scheme of 2018 goes to "Revenge". 

 

 

 

One of the actual trailers.

 

 

I dig how they have a rifle scope on a shotgun.

 

Also, how does a 98 pound woman with zero body fat beat the shit out of three guys after being shot and - I think - impaled on a tree after a terrible fall and left to die without food and water in the heat of the Arizona summer?

 

 

 

 

"Our movie isn't shitty! You're shitty! And if you think this is shitty, you hate women!"

 

Also, pretty much all tenseness is removed from the movie because you know exactly what's going to happen. 

 

She'll live, they'll die.