The Creative Side of SH

[Sturgeon]

You are in remarkably good company. John Ringo recently had a research project into 13somthings actual music taste these days... Results were startlingly encouraging.

 

Based on what I know of John Ringo, that's pretty creepy.

[Belesarius]

Based on what I know of John Ringo, that's pretty creepy.

Him and his daughter are writing a YA novel together. 

[Sturgeon]

Him and his daughter are writing a YA novel together.

OH JOHN RINGO NO

[Belesarius]

OH JOHN RINGO NO

She's on board specifically to keep him from going down that road and keep him on point with the younger crowd.

[Sturgeon]

She's on board specifically to keep him from going down that road and keep him on point with the younger crowd.

 

"Alright, so what if the main character kidnaps one of the kindergarten kids and forces them into their sex dungeon on their yacht in the Atlantic Ocean?"

"...Dad?"

"What? Oh, is that one of those "things" we're not supposed to do?"

"Yeah, dad."

[Belesarius]

"Alright, so what if the main character kidnaps one of the kindergarten kids and forces them into their sex dungeon on their yacht in the Atlantic Ocean?"

"...Dad?"

"What? Oh, is that one of those "things" we're not supposed to do?"

"Yeah, dad."

Pretty much. He's posted some of the conversations with his daughter on FB.  She's kept him on point, and has been a big help in research etc. so he's trying to get Toni to agree to giving her a co-author credit.

[Belesarius]

I went back and found the FB post.

 

 

'One thing I know. We're going to have to work on your dialogue style, Dad.'

'What the hell is wrong with my dialogue style?'

'Kids don't sound like they're communicating over a military radio.'

'I can do kids! What about Faith and Sophia?'

'You did okay, I guess. Don't worry. I'll fix it.'

(Me, mentally: And she will, too. Damnit.) :-)

Picture the two of us sitting at an outdoor coffee shop, catching pokemon at a lured pokestop and eating dinner. And I'm being schooled by my daughter on how to write YA so it doesn't sound like Starship Troopers. The Movie

[Sturgeon]

1100 words into the new thing. I'm probably a third to halfway to the point I want to get to before I post what I have.

[Belesarius]

Also... been a while.

 

WHAR LITE RIFFLE NATE? WAHR?????

[Sturgeon]

Also... been a while.

 

WHAR LITE RIFFLE NATE? WAHR?????

 

Working on that one, too. I'm liking the direction it's going.

The move has slowed everything down, and that's why I haven't been posting much recently.

[Belesarius]

Working on that one, too. I'm liking the direction it's going.

The move has slowed everything down, and that's why I haven't been posting much recently.

Yeah, between you being quiet and Alex bailing, TFB has been kinda boring lately.  Except for that pistol thingie. That's freakin' cool... if expensive.

[Sturgeon]

I am pretty pleased with what I have so far, in terms of both work I've done and the premise I am working with. Word count is up to 1,600, which isn't a huge improvement over yesterday, but then I've done some editing along the way, too. I've just about wrapped up the scene right before the scene that I want to finish before I post the first section here.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

Is there a high school aged love triangle in your newest work?

[Sturgeon]

Is there a high school aged love triangle in your newest work?

...Technically, yes, but it involves anthropophagy.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

Dudes eating other dudes? My simple redneck country blue collar mind can't comprehend such homoerotic subtexts.

[Sturgeon]

Dudes eating other dudes? My simple redneck country blue collar mind can't comprehend such homoerotic subtexts.

 

That isn't technically what "anthropophagy" means...

Didn't get a chance to work on the story over the past day or so, but I hit it for about half an hour this evening and broke 2,000 words. It's looking like I'll get to where I want to be at the 3,000-4,000 word mark, and then I can post that as the first bit.

[Sturgeon]

I've decided to wrap the prologue and first chapter up there. Here it is:
 

PROLOGUE

 

When the phone hit the wall, its screen shattered and flickered off. The palm-sized slate of aluminum and high strength glass broke the light blue paint on the wall, and the plaster under it.

 

Maddie's shriek half a beat later broke the limit of her voice, and she descended into sobs.

Brad had been Maddie's boyfriend for almost four months, until thirty minutes ago. He was a tall, thin, towheaded boy of 17, and since April he had been Maddie's whole life. Their first kiss on prom night had felt so electric that it rewired Maddie's brain; now that wiring was shorting and sparking because of a text message on Maddie's now-dark phone. “I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore.” Maddie didn't understand what he meant by this; for her their relationship had been the furthest thing from difficult.

 

Falling onto her bed, she buried her face in a lilac-cased pillow, instantly soaking it with a fountain of tears. Her mind raced a repetitive staccato of questions: What did I do wrong? Doesn't he love me? What is wrong with me? Am I ugly? Is there someone else? What did I do wrong... On and on, punctuated by a river of screams and sobs, and building a pressure inside her that begged to be let out. Her skin had become hot, like the surface of an almost-boiling kettle, as if her body was on fire and every cell in her body was racing for the exit. She pounded her fists and legs against the bed in the hope of release, but the pressure only built and built and built.

The episode felt like it lasted for weeks. At several points Maddie felt like she couldn't take it anymore, like her body would surely just spontaneously combust into bright, orange flames. Eventually, though, the pressure let off, and the choked sobs became less and less frequent. Exhausted, Maddie fell asleep on her tear-soaked lilac pillow.

 

When she woke up, it was dark. The crater in the drywall across from the bed reminded her of what happened. She pushed off the bed with a stiff, dry feeling. Was this how she was always going to feel from now on – she wondered – dry and hollow? The sensation was like watching herself outside of her own body, from above; a disconnected numbness that filled her hollow body in place of her bones and organs. It was as if her body before had been filled with highly pressured hydrogen before, reactive and energetic, and now it was filled with just enough helium to keep it upright, like an old party balloon that just barely rose above the floor.

That's a stupid analogy, Maddie thought to herself. I'm a stupid girl; that's why Brad broke up with me. Anger welled up inside her – anger at herself – but she welcomed it because it was closer to normal than the numb helium feeling. Maybe if she hadn't been such a stupid girl, Brad would have... Whatever. Hating herself felt better than thinking about Brad. She turned over those thoughts again and again, attacking them with the enthusiasm of a kid who knows exactly what's behind the wrapping paper. I am stupid, I deserve this, who could love someone like me, anyway... The peanut-butter-and-chocolate mix of self-hate and self-pity had an addictive quality that Maddie didn't recognize. She found herself enjoying the feeling, riding it over and over again like a rich girl with a new horse.
 

She rode all night.

-----

 

“Is Maddie alright? She hasn't come downstairs at all this evening.”

The woman with graying-black hair sighed. “It's Brad. He broke up with her.”

“Oh that's a shame! I liked Brad, he seemed like a decent kid.”

She shot him a look. “He told her by text message, Tom.”

“What? Oh, come on!”

She thought about how her mother would have handled this... “I think it's for the best if we just leave her alone for now. I think it's her first big breakup, she needs to work through it on her own.”

“Hm, I wouldn't know. No one ever broke up with me in high school.” The older man frowned with concern.

“I think the trip will help. She loves Alaska so much... I think it will help.”

 

 

CHAPTER 1: ALASKA

 

The Clark family vacation was a yearly affair. Every July, they would pack up their tents, portable gas stoves, outdoor clothes, and plenty of mosquito repellant, and drive to the airport to board a plane for Alaska. Thomas Clark, the father, had a good relationship with a local travel agent office, which cut him a good rate on vacation packages for a vacation in Petersburg. A connecting flight to Petersburg airport would land them on the tip of Mitkof Island, where they would take a small boat to the the opposite shore on Kupreanof Island. From there, the family hiked a quarter mile inland and pitched their tents.

Three days of camping followed, filled with days on the beach, meals of caught fish when the boys were lucky, and brought fish or steak when they weren't. Maddie would normally have joined them, but instead spent her days in her tent sleeping in and reading. This summer's trip to Alaska was to her a particular kind of torture: Maddie had planned to ask her parents to take Brad along with them. Every moment in Alaska was a reminder to her that she wasn't good enough, didn't deserve... Whatever. The emotional damage had by this point faded to a crippling ache, the only relief for which was the sleep that came after a few minutes of quietly crying into her camping pillow.

 

Maddie was a dark-haired girl, with a pleasant face that certainly wasn't gorgeous, pale skin, and a slight, boyish build. She'd grown up close to her father, who was now past fifty, and mostly tolerated her mother – not yet forty – who usually played the role of disciplinarian. Her little brother Josh was four, and just beginning to outgrow being cute enough to get away with anything. Over the past year, Maddie found him more and more annoying, especially since Josh seemed to delight in making mischief at her expense. In school, Maddie had been pretty enough to get the attention of some of the boys, but too bookish to be very popular; Brad had been her first serious relationship.

 

She paid another kind of price for the breakup, too: Maddie's mother always took extra-special care not to spoil her only – now eldest – child, and so there was no free replacement for the smartphone Maddie had so expertly demolished during her rage at Brad. With that, Maddie's 21^st Century social life was effectively over: She had been completely cut off from her friends during the car ride to the airport, while they waited in line to check-in, for the security checkpoint, and during the flight. At first, she pouted and sulked in withdrawal, but by the time they had reached Petersburg, Maddie had completely resigned from having a social life of any kind, and indeed seemed almost determined to extend her vow of silence to her family, too.

 

Instead of human interaction, Maddie just read one of the several books she had packed with the rest of her luggage. She was lying on her back in the big tent staring upwards at a page of the worst supernatural romance ever written, when the call came from outside. “Hey, Mads...” The emphasis on her name was obvious. What did her dad want? “Yes?” She didn't mean for it to sound like a challenge. What was wrong with her? “Hey, honey, I'm watching the bass out here, and Josh wants to go see the skookum pole. Can you take him?” He didn't come in.
 

The totem pole wasn't very far from their campsite, further inland by maybe half a mile. It was an old Tlingit pole that Tom had showed Maddie over and over again when she was a kid. Locals called it the “skookum pole”, all with the same knowing grin on their face that meant none of them had any idea why. Josh had seen it probably half a dozen times by now, but always with his mom and dad. He was far too young to go that far from camp by himself.

“Dad, I am reading. Can't mom take him?” Thousands of miles from civilization and I still can't just be left alone.

“Your mother is working on the vegetables, Madison. You've been reading all week, you should get up and enjoy the outdoors a bit anyway.” Her father had a talent for persuasion that Maddie had a hard time resisting. Some part of her did want to get up and enjoy Alaska, just like she had before.

“Ugh, fine.” Too sharply, again. “I'll take the little brat to see his stupid pole.”

“Thank you, Maddie. And, uh, don't call your brother a 'brat'.” The way he said it told Maddie he'd noticed her sulky tone.

Whatever, she thought, but didn't say out loud. In the back of her mind, she wondered what he'd done to piss her off so badly.

The walk to the totem pole was not very long; in the temperate Alaskan summer air it was downright pleasant, save for the mosquitos. Josh's enthusiasm for the territory was set to rival his older sister's: He hopped and jumped with self-satisfied excitement the whole way. In his small voice, he sang: “We're go-ing to see the po-o-ole, we're go-ing to see the po-o-ole, the skoo-kum pole, the skoo-kum pole!” That was apparently the limit of the four year old's creativity, as he repeated it over and over again for the entire fifteen minute journey to the old pole. Maddie's annoyance was immediate, but she brooded instead of lashing out. She felt like a kettle about to boil over but for a great weight sitting on its lid. Josh was going to get it if he didn't shut the fuck up soon.

 

The curse surprised her. She didn't tend to do that, even in her internal monologue. Well, Josh is just being really annoying, that's why, she thought. A part of her wasn't entirely convinced.

As they made their way along a faint path, through the evergreen trees and the underbrush of ferns and moss, the totem pole became visible. Despite her annoyance, it still captured her imagination the way it had in previous years. The single-log pole wasn't bright and colorful like the totem poles shown in educational books at the library back home. This one was no more than twelve feet tall, dark and weathered, the wood grayed with exposure to the elements, the barest evidence of original paint still visible. The figures carved in the wood were strange, too. From the base up, it depicted four women with their heads down as if in shame or grief, a coyote head, a ring of twelve human skulls, a face with gnashing teeth and an extended tongue, still slightly red, a stylized animal skull with antlers, and a wise-looking face with a solemn Mona Lisa stare. Topping the pole was a carving of a bird with a head crest of rounded feathers, which Maddie's dad insisted represented the thunderbird. The pole looked old, in a way that the tourist-bait poles in Petersburg didn't.

“Look, squirt, there's your pole.” Maddie felt her bad mood recede as the memories of her and her father in years past came back. She couldn't for the life of her think why she'd snapped at the old man before.

Josh went running off, towards the totem pole, squealing with delight. She called out, more resigned than worried: “Stay close, Josh! Mom and dad would kill me if I lost you.” As Maddie broke through the last of the pines to the clearing near the pole, she saw Josh had picked up a stick and begun a frenzied run around it, whacking the trees and the pole with his newfound weapon. Lord knew what imaginary scene was running through his mind.

 

“The pole is crappy enough as it is without you hitting it, Josh.” He didn't seem to notice. Maddie didn't have her mom's talent for striking the fear of God into the four-year-old, but then the only times she'd really tried had been when Josh had broken something of hers.

 

Josh continued his rampage for a minute or two, then seemed to become distracted, and bolted further into the woods. “Josh! No, come back here!” She followed as fast as she could, pushing spruce branches aside as her feet dodged the green stems of ferns and shrubs.

 

Keeping the boy in sight proved challenging, his red shirt darting in and out between the trees. He showed no sign of slowing his push inland. Maddie began to worry. “You'd better get back here, Josh! I am going to kill you!” If I lose him, Mom and Dad are going to kill me, she thought.

The pursuit continued for close to half an hour. Maddie's hair and clothes had absorbed the slow sweat of exertion on a mild day. More than once Maddie thought, in between breaths, he's got to stop soon. How much energy can a four-year-old have? Finally, once the underbrush fell away and the spruces rose so tall that they blotted out most of the Sun, her little brother stopped suddenly. The area was clear, bare tree-trunks several feet apart, capped by foliage high above their heads, over a floor of vines, small plants, moss, and detritus. No birds were singing close by.

“Josh! Jesus christ, what is wrong with you? Why would you run off like that? I called and called-”

“I saw a bunny, Maddie! But it's gone.”

Maddie was breathing heavily, now that the adrenaline was subsiding. “Well, it's like a thirty minute walk back to the camp site, so I hope you're happy.”

“It's dead now...” He said it completely matter-of-factly.

“What? What did you say?” Maddie could have sworn he said “dead”.

“It's dead. The bunny.”

“You didn't catch it, did you?” She couldn't imagine he would kill the animal if he somehow managed to catch it, but maybe accidentally? That didn't really make sense either, surely Josh wasn't strong enough to accidentally kill a rabbit, but then how fragile were rabbits, anyway?

“No, I didn't catch it. He did.” Josh pointed to Maddie's left, and she noticed he'd been looking in that direction the whole time.

----------

Alright folks, let me know how bad it stinks!

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

You seamlessly pontificate on the emotional state of teenage girls. Brilliant!

So when's the next piece drop?

[Sturgeon]

You seamlessly pontificate on the emotional state of teenage girls. Brilliant!

So when's the next piece drop?

 

I never set deadlines. They aggravate my asthma.

[Sturgeon]

Worked a little on Chapter 2 this evening.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

Good. You're a good writer.  And I'm not just stroking your already inflated ego. 

 

I am getting part of my last book back from the editor today. She's also coming by to give me cookies so yaaay. 

[ShamefurDispray]

Here's a poem I wrote for poetry class a while back

 

Hollow Tranquility

 

As the world spins

round and round,

others move alongside.

The sun,

the sky,

the clouds above us all

moving ever so slightly.

As we close our eyes,

shut down our brains,

the world stops moving.

The people,

the animals,

the ground beneath us,

all fall tranquil.

When we open our eyes,

nothing was where they were,

the moon,

the stars,

the air by us all.

When we close our eyes again,

we remember the law,

the one which we are bound to:

all that begins must end.

[Sturgeon]

I finally got WordPress to work right.

[Belesarius]

The title intrigues me. 

[Sturgeon]

It means absolutely nothing.