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Sturgeon's House

The Single Most Evident Sign Of Our Culture's Decline And Impending Fall


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Behind the joke, there is actually a note of seriousness here. These leashes are the leading cause of dog misbehavior behind their idiotic owners. These leashes undermine everything about good dog training.

When walking a dog, it's proper to gather up the leash in the hands, such that the dog has a short lead and cannot walk far in front of you. This tells the dog that you're driving the train, and the dog will not only behave much better during his walk, but also will come to see you as his Alpha and will respect you much more in other areas of life, as well.

These extendable leashes undermine all that, all while indulging their tremendously lazy owners (really, the above advice is trivially easy to put into practice, if you don't you either do not know how to train dogs, are too stupid to understand it, or are too lazy to give even the tiniest of shits). Every time I go for a walk I see exasperated owners being pulled along by their dogs - inevitably attached by these demonic contraptions.

 

And really, a society that keeps dogs but can't train them is what sort of society?

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My wife, in her capacity as a veterinary nurse, endorses this comment. But also adds a disclaimer that 'alpha training' (where you dominate the animal physically, roll it and so on) is also bullshit.

 

The thing with dogs is that you need to provide them with consistent feedback, consistent behaviour and a secure place in the hierarchy. Getting mad and punishing the animal is wrong, just as rewarding it without reason is.

 

Another part of the problem with long leashes (besides their pathetic design and construction) is that by allowing your dog to roam you remove him from your sphere of control and thus remove your ability to correct his behaviour.

 

Finally, the real sign of the end times isn't the leash, it's the proliferation of Dachshunds, Pugs and other useless 'purebred' animals. Using 19th-century (in)breeding practices to make an animal conform to an arbitrary list of breed standards is evil, yo.

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My wife, in her capacity as a veterinary nurse, endorses this comment. But also adds a disclaimer that 'alpha training' (where you dominate the animal physically, roll it and so on) is also bullshit.

 

The thing with dogs is that you need to provide them with consistent feedback, consistent behaviour and a secure place in the hierarchy. Getting mad and punishing the animal is wrong, just as rewarding it without reason is.

 

Another part of the problem with long leashes (besides their pathetic design and construction) is that by allowing your dog to roam you remove him from your sphere of control and thus remove your ability to correct his behaviour.

 

Finally, the real sign of the end times isn't the leash, it's the proliferation of Dachshunds, Pugs and other useless 'purebred' animals. Using 19th-century (in)breeding practices to make an animal conform to an arbitrary list of breed standards is evil, yo.

 

I could see how some subhuman troglodytes people might hear the word "Alpha" and confuse that for "be a shit owner", but that's really not what I meant.

I cannot agree hard enough with the bolded section. Pug breeders in particular are... Jesus, no other word for it - they're evil! Future historians will crucify us for that (though hardly that alone).

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Wait. People put their dogs on leashes where you live? In Seattle you will see Pet Parents carry their Pet Children in handbags, push them in strollers or let them wander about in the restaurant or Whole Foods store that you are shopping at.

As for purebred dogs, I feel that it is good to continue the lineage of useful working breeds. My family has Irish Wolfhounds which are magnificent creatures with a history that is older than the Roman Empire. At my feet as I hunt and peck on my phone are a pair of rescue Akitas that are my wife's and whose breed have a similar fascinating history from Japan.

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Wait. People put their dogs on leashes where you live? In Seattle you will see Pet Parents carry their Pet Children in handbags, push them in strollers or let them wander about in the restaurant or Whole Foods store that you are shopping at.

As for purebred dogs, I feel that it is good to continue the lineage of useful working breeds. My family has Irish Wolfhounds which are magnificent creatures with a history that is older than the Roman Empire. At my feet as I hunt and peck on my phone are a pair of rescue Akitas that are my wife's and whose breed have a similar fascinating history from Japan.

 

Don, we were regarding specifically the dysgenic breeds, such as the pug and chihuahua.

However, American breeding desperately needs to be reformed. I am not qualified to speak on this, so instead I'll link to someone who is.

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I call those snake food dogs.

No. I'm well aware of the issues with dog breeding. It's one of the reasons why we get our wolfhounds from a breeder who strives for longevity and health in the breed as opposed to superfluous traits.

 

There are good breeders. The blog of one has been permalinked here since the beginning.

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I could see how some subhuman troglodytes people might hear the word "Alpha" and confuse that for "be a shit owner", but that's really not what I meant.

I cannot agree hard enough with the bolded section. Pug breeders in particular are... Jesus, no other word for it - they're evil! Future historians will crucify us for that (though hardly that alone).

 

I actually inferred from the context that you weren't referring to that particular approach: this was more a clarification. In any case, I apologise for even tangentially associating you with that crowd.

 

 

Wait. People put their dogs on leashes where you live? In Seattle you will see Pet Parents carry their Pet Children in handbags, push them in strollers or let them wander about in the restaurant or Whole Foods store that you are shopping at.

As for purebred dogs, I feel that it is good to continue the lineage of useful working breeds. My family has Irish Wolfhounds which are magnificent creatures with a history that is older than the Roman Empire. At my feet as I hunt and peck on my phone are a pair of rescue Akitas that are my wife's and whose breed have a similar fascinating history from Japan.

 

Working breeds are fine, so long as you have common-sense policies like an open book and functional (rather than aesthetic) standards. Screening is a good idea too. The problem is that sensible breeders are rare while grifters, charlatans, sadists and blood purity advocates are common. Combine that with breed standards written by show societies and you get genetic carcrashes that suffer throughout their short, pointless lives.

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It's at this point that I want to share the story of my brother's girlfriend's daughter's Chihuahua Mac'n Cheese. Don't ask me why a three year old was allowed to name a $1,500 "show quality" dog or why they had to spend that much on something whose highest and best purpose is to feed snakes. I came to learn that Chihuahuas are notorious for having a weak bladder and you can't house train them. They are also stupid as evidenced by the time it crawled up to sleep with me on the couch and then, in the middle of the night, pissed on the pillow I was sleeping on.

So we/they had a dog that you couldn't leave inside and you couldn't leave outside because it would die from the elements or be eaten by a raccoon. So my brother built a heated, lighted dog house for Mac'n Cheese (and their other two dogs). One night we had freezing rain at temperatures around 34 degrees. The other two dogs (a mutt and a Cockapoo) were smart enough to go into the heated dog house. Mac'n Cheese stood by the back door in the freezing rain, waiting to be let in and died of exposure.

The End

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  • 2 weeks later...

The logical expansion on this thread is what's the forum's take on people bringing non-service dogs and pets into shops and restaurants?

As you can tell in my neck of the woods, any critter can be called a "service animal" regardless of the animal's training or the owner's malady.

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The logical expansion on this thread is what's the forum's take on people bringing non-service dogs and pets into shops and restaurants?

As you can tell in my neck of the woods, any critter can be called a "service animal" regardless of the animal's training or the owner's malady.

 

It's sort of like gun laws. In a functional, not terrible world, there'd be almost no restrictions, everyone would live in peace and from time to time you'd see someone bring their well-behaved, nice-looking dog (gun? What, now I've confused myself) into the store or whatever.

 

In the world we live in, as layer after layer of the muck that once was our society slides pathetically into the sewer drain, it's probably not a good idea for businesses to allow dogs. I mean guns. No, I mean dogs!

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It's because we've outsourced personal responsibility to third party sources. Since you've alluded to open carry, I don't mind it per say in the case of handguns or long guns in a rural settings and while protesting in front of government buildings. Conversely, fat neck-beards brandishing loaded assault rifles in family restaurants and coffee shops piss me off for a variety of reasons. If I saw one in person, I would probably automatically assume they were a mall shooter since the majority of the sort of folks who carry assault rifles in coffee shops look like the sort who would snap because the world is out to get them.

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I live with these guys.  The one in the middle is a pure breed Jack Russel.  Like most Jack Russel terriers, he acts much bigger than his size.  He is the alpha dog of the bunch.  The other two are dogs came from the shelter.  The one on the left is a terrier mix of some sort, and possibly the most submissive attention seeking dog on the planet. She is a cuddle monster, she has to be touching either me or my wife at all times.   The dog on the right is a bull dog beagle mix.  Why someone would want to mix and bulldog and a beagle is beyond me, but he needed a home and so we took him in.  He is pretty cool, although he farts a lot.  But then, i just remember what Tammy Faye Bakker said: "love has no nose.

 

IMG_20131224_194840.jpg

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So I have a Lab, and one of those infernal leashes.  

 

I got the Lab, because my X wanted a dog, and liked Labs, and I had grown up with one so we got a lab. The X is long gone, but I still have the Lab, and she has been a great dog, even though she's always been cooped up in apartments or condos. She also isn't a full breed, or wouldn't pass inspection because she has black spots on her tongue. She was one of those litter labs, come by our house and check the litter out and pick, type dog, and I paid 150 bucks for her.  She has had zero health problems until now, other than a bad knee from an early injury. She's now 15, and I doubt she's going to make 16.  She has been a really great dog, she loves car rides, even crazy ones.  She went on all my off road adventures in the jeep, often on a bed packed on top of all the camping gear, with about foot to squeeze into. She was the first and only dog I crate trained.

 

She is a bit of an attention whore and intensely jealous of me giving any attention to any other animal. She will sit on a cat if she can, and take its place under my hand.  She’s never gotten aggressive about anything, I can take food out of her mouth, and one of the cats sticks his head in her food dish and samples what she gets while the dog is eating. The same cat often steals her bed. Anyway, her love of food and attention are pretty typical lab but she’s so not lab like in other areas.

 

She hates getting her feet wet, and does not like water. She can swim, but will not swim unless she falls in somehow. This dislike of water gets so bad she won’t walk on wet grass or wet/muddy dirty to pee, and just goes on the sidewalk. This annoys my wife. She also likes to get under the covers of the bed if she can. My wife does not like this either.

 

She has a throat condition the vet says is just going to get worse, and it’s going to kill her. Right now, she’s still acting normal so I don’t have to think about putting her down, but at some point I’m going to have to make that call. I’m going to be a pretty sad dude for a while.

 

Anyway, onto the infernal leash, in this labs case, I use it because I can let her go sniff stuff, almost like she is off leash, be still have her tethered. I never broke her of going nuts when she sees a squirrel or pheasant. She also likes to go sniffing around in ivy, yes, the same dog who doesn’t like wet feet.  The leashes do have a lock, and when there’s a need for it to work like a traditional leash, you just real the dog in and lock it. If there is anyone in site, she next to me with it locked. The only time I’ve had problems is when an unleashed dog came and harassed us. I’m also willing to admit I’m not the best dog trainer around, but I trust her not to bite people or jump on them and she does not bark at people unless they are strangers and I’m not around.

 

Now, I’ve seen the trouble these leash types can cause. It’s almost as bad as the people who just let their dog run free in places they shouldn’t.

 

You’d think people bringing useless dogs inside non dog stores would be more of a problem in Marin county, but I hardly see it, but then again, I don’t go out shopping much.

 

Fuck, all this has done is really made it sink in how much she’s slipping each day.

 

If ever get another dog, it will be a rescue lab, or a pound dog. Raising a lab from a puppy is something I don’t regret though, it was more fun than not. 

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