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Sturgeon

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This is actually a pretty great re-write:

 

 

 

Those ideas are pretty good.  It's not hard to improve upon the utter shit show that is the prequels.  

 

Personally, I would go even deeper and not only rewrite the prequels, but also Return of the Jedi.  And I would make some massive changes.  I grew up with star wars, the first movie came out when I was 7 and Empire when I was ten.  My friends and I spent endless hours wondering what the next movie would be like.  By the time Jedi came out, I was 13 and already a bit tired of star wars.  However, I remember how I felt back then and how much mystery was around most of the ideas that we now consider canon.  For example, the clone wars were just a name back then mentioned briefly.  The Jedi order was really rather undefined in the first couple films. Certainly, when I was a kid I did not image the Jedi Order as having some freakin huge modern building on the super city planet.  Every thing about the Jedi Order as presented in the prequels runs counter to how me and my other young friends imagined the Jedi based on our viewing of the first two movies.  Also, it runs counter to common sense, since the Jedi are presented in episode 4 as a legend.  Its hard to imagine that the Jedi could go from "we have a massive building next to the capital" to "we are a forgotten legend" in twenty years. 

 

More importantly, I remember how confused I was after Empire and Vader reveling that he was Luke's father.  Everyone at the time spent three years debating whether it was true, could Vader be lying, etc.  It's not until Jedi that it's actually confirmed.  The issue I had as a child was that I refused to believe that Obi wan was a liar.  If you go back to the scene in Star wars (EP 4), he certainly does not seem to be lying, or even "telling the truth from a certain point of view."  I hate that scene in Jedi where ghost Obi-wan has to basically ret-con everything and offer a lame excuse for lying.  So here is how I would have done Jedi.  Obi-wan did not lie.  Darth Vader was a young promising Jedi who fell to the dark side.  Anakin Skywalker was a great pilot and friend to Obi-wan.  Also, Anakin was a cuckold, and Darth knocked up his wife before killiing all the Jedi.  Think how awesome Jedi would have been if ghost Obi-wan would have been like "Darth Vader is your father?  Whaaaatttt???"  And think how much more interesting Luke becomes.  No longer is he the son of a fallen hero, he is the son of an asshole.  And his mother is pretty lame as well. It makes his decision to stay on the light side of the force even more meaningful.  It would also make the prequels far more interesting.  Oh, and leia is not Luke's sister, that shit is just some dumb crap Lucas made up for Jedi.  

 

Anyhow, perhaps its a terrible idea.  As a kid I liked Jedi for the cool sci fi action, but by that point I had already moved onto other things, particularly WW2 history.  

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Really? I actually feel like 1977's exchange between Luke and Obi-Wan looks very much like Obi-Wan is not being entirely honest with him.

Whether that was intentional or not, I dunno, but I remember thinking that the other week when I watched it.

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Really? I actually feel like 1977's exchange between Luke and Obi-Wan looks very much like Obi-Wan is not being entirely honest with him.

Whether that was intentional or not, I dunno, but I remember thinking that the other week when I watched it.

I guess we interpret the scene differently.

 

One other thing that bugs me.  Obi-wan give Luke the saber saying "your father would have wanted you to have this."  To me as a child, this indicated that Jedi were like knights of old, passing down the tradition from parent to child (assuming the child had the force.)   I never would have thought that the Jedi were some sort of celibate monk order that all lived together in a big high-tech building with "younglings" that they basically kidnap from around the galaxy.  Holy fuck do the prequels suck.   Nothing in those movies matched up with how I envisioned the pre-episode 4 star wars universe should have looked like.  Even Jedi was a bit of a disconnect, although not nearly as dramatic.  

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I also like how in ANH, Obi-Wan says Anakin was a good friend, yet in the prequels we don't see any sort of real friendship onscreen. Mostly just Anakin whining about how much he hates Obi-Wan and how he's so unfair, and Obi-Wan being annoyed.

 

And rewatching the scene right now, Obi-Wan says: "I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough. But your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade, like your father did." The prequels don't match that at all.

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The prequels just knock the entire timeline out of whack for what would be a logical sequence of events tying them to the the Original Star Wars movie.

 

Han Solo would be old enough to remember Jedi Knights and The Force.

 

Chewbacca would have had to lie to Han Solo about knowing Jedi Knights and fighting alongside Jedi.

 

Chewie would have to lie to Luke Skywalker about not knowing Yoda.

 

As for Obi Wan Kenobi? Yeah. He lied all the time and it is pretty implicit if you are a fan of Alec Guinness and British actors in general with the little nuances that they use while delivering their lines.

 

Hell, there was only 20 or so years between the fall of the Old Republic and the events in A New Hope. That is a longer period of time between now and the end of the Reagan Administration or the Fall of the Soviet Union. That would be like the entire world having only a vague distant recollection of the Cold War.

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Fucking racist George Lucas, man.

 

So he's one of the only black guys in the Galaxy and the guy's name is Hood and when law and order breaks down on Cloud City, he's shown looting a home appliance like it's a WalMart during Hurricane Katrina.

 

#BlackLivesMatter

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Since i know you guys like the Expanded Universe, here is someone painstakingly rendering a supply ship mentioned in a role playing game

 

This is the Field-Secured Container Vessel (FSCV)

 

 

Its around the size of 5 Star Destroyers

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With massive force field generators mounted on their bows, a pair of FSCVs could generate one or more huge force-field bubbles between them, in which vast quantities of cargo could be transported.
 
The typical FSCV was a Loronar Corporation design, with two ships capable of supporting a chain of up to twenty 800m field bubbles and five billion cubic meters of cargo. Other types of FSCVs were built to different designs: for instance, Black Ice, assigned to replenishment fleet DK-209 in the Mortex sector, was built by Rendili StarDrive, and could generate up to nine field bubbles, each capable of hauling at least 110 million tons of cargo.
FSCV engine pod
 
Schematics of the engine pod.
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Most of the length of an FSCV was taken up by field bubbles, and while the tugs were themselves around the size of small Star Destroyers, most of the hull space inside them was occupied by engines, fuel cells and shield generators: in the Rendili design, the crew—100 in each tug—spent most of their time in a small command module on top of the hull.
 
In normal operations, a pair of FSCVs would pass through a system under way, while smaller transports ferried their cargo to its destination. This was done because, while they could comfortably sustain their cruising speed in the vacuum of deep space, their ion drives provided only very slow acceleration and deceleration.
 
Since two ships the size of heavy cruisers might be required to haul a cargo broadly comparable in volume and tonnage to a large Super Star Destroyer, diverting most of their power output into sustaining the force-fields to do so, it is unsurprising that a typical Loronar FSCV took thirty-five hours and 600 million kilometers to move between a full stop and its normal sublight cruising speed.
 
 
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One thing I'm glad to see less of in the SW greatest hits album is that some of the more stupid flourishes in the duels where people would turn their backs on their opponent while still in saber range. The prequels were full of that, and it was stupid as hell to see.

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