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Sturgeon's House

The Star Wars General Discussion Thread


Sturgeon

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Luke, did I ever tell you that force ghosts can interact with the physical world?

Luke, did I ever tell you about Anakin Skywalker? One day, a close relative of yours is going to worship Darth Vader as though he's some kind of space Jesus. Despite the fact that he could materialize in front of this relative and explain to him the folly of the dark side at any time, he won't. Good thing Yoda will still be around to burn down sacred Jedi texts. He was a confusing friend.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Jedi Master Yoda? He will soon train you to face the Empire, but will abandon you later in life when you need him most. In fact, he will destroy sacred Jedi literature that you value dearly and laugh at you like the pathetic waste you are. He will be a good friend.

Luke, did I ever tell you about sloth milk? It is a delicacy that can only be found in the unknown regions of Ahch-To. These sloths have incredibly human like mammaries and produce a green, creamy mixture. One day, you will only eat fish and drink this milk for years on end. How disgusting that is! These sloths will be good friends to you.

Luke did I ever tell you about Snoke? He is more powerful than the Emperor and he has more money than the entire galactic empire. He has the power to read minds in a very broad sense but fails to notice the most crucial details. He was a good friend. RIP.

Luke, have I ever told you about Rey? She will be able to hold her own against well-trained follower of the dark side after only having found out what the force was a few days prior. Anyway, have fun spending months training with a weird green man on a swamp planet just to have your hand cut off in the end.

Luke did I ever tell you about the Knights of Ren? They were Jedi once like you and me. Until they were seduced by the dark side and joined Kylo Ren to destroy your new Jedi temple ... or Kylo destroyed it and then took some of his fellow students with them and they became the Knights of Ren later. I don't really remember that part all too well. Either way they never appeared again. They weren't good friends.

Luke did I ever tell you about Captain Phasma? She was forced to lower the Starkiller shields at gun point despite wearing laser proof armor. She was thrown in a trash compactor and then an hour later the entire planet was blown up. She somehow survived only to be blown up on Snokes capital ship twice. See her in Episode 9. She is a good friend and not going anywhere.

Luke did I ever tell you about using the force to project yourself on some remote planet and have a fake lightsaber fight with your nephew? It's a great technique. However 5 minutes after you used it you will evaporate. You were a good friend.

 

 

 

And the one that really did it for me.

 

Luke, did I ever tell you about lightspeedmissiles? It's a combat maneuver that no one in the history of the Republic ever used in spite of having access to FTL technology for thousands of years. It is an attack so devastating that whichever side uses it first wins. End of story. There are no safeguards against it, so now that it has been discovered, it is wisest to resort to it at the slightest hint of danger, because if you hesitate, your side has already lost. It took a strong independent woman to discover the technique. Had she been just a bit less brave and a bit smarter the concept of "remote control" might have occurred to her as well and she could have been a good friend.

 

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We're going to see Return of the Last Jedi Strikes Back on the 21st. Been avoiding SPOILERS but let's just say, "I Have a BAD Feeling About This" in that rather than trying to create a Cinematic Universe that makes sense within the rules established in the previous 7 (8?) installments, the screenwriters and director will just opt to make up shit on the fly while relying on the crutch of SPECIAL EFFECTS.

 

*pew pew pew*

 

*whrrrrrr* *whrrrrr* *scrtccch*

 

 

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But as Ramlaen pointed out, their military strategy still make absolutely no sense

 

Spoiler

If you have a Dreadnought with what seems to be big ass railguns, start by blowing up the orbiting ship instead of the base on the ground ffs.

Those shuttles aren't going anywhere without a mothership.

Oh and also scramble your fighters as soon as you enter the system next time.

 

Overall the film was good even if too "Disney like" in the scenography (the "cavalry" charge on the salt planet is a good example of what I mean).

The plot was however good, in the sense that they didn't left too much obvious loopholes and they were a few plot twist as well as some scenes that were just for the sake of character development (without bringing anything to move the plot forward).

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7 hours ago, T___A said:

I saw it. I don't know how a flim can have scenes so good and scenes so bad. I hate it. 

 

7 hours ago, T___A said:

I don't know how a flim can have scenes so good and scenes so bad.

 

7 hours ago, T___A said:

how a flim

 

7 hours ago, T___A said:

a flim

 

7 hours ago, T___A said:

flim

 

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42 minutes ago, Donward said:

I'll be watching the Star Wars flim tomorrow with Mrs. The Captain and a nerd herd of friends.

 

Got a bad feeling...

 

Story is rather good, scenes are often too "Disney like"

And they keep introducing new concept where after seeing it you are like "Wtf didn't you do that before?"

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