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Sturgeon's House

Collimatrix's Terrible Music Thread


Collimatrix

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I kind of like the Bloodhound Gang. They're like an unintentional parody of Bro Culture. Or in the case of their song Uhn Tiss. A completely intentional one.

 

 

REMOVE FURRIES? 

 

 

I maintain that the Bloodhound Gang are not artists, but flinty-souled profiteers who struck upon a certain style of music aimed solely at profiteering from a particular demographic of our community.

 

 

Namely the middle school boy who still lives in all of us.

 

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Priory is quite correct with all three of those being crap. No doubt those bands are part of the reason why record companies no longer allow musical acts to play instruments.

Which is sad because the 2000s had some decent bands that actually had talent. I think I already posted a bunch of Hives videos earlier in the thread. The Strokes, Mastodon and Queens of the Stone Age are all great but there is just so much more shitty music in the rock genre that they are drowned out. 

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Which is sad because the 2000s had some decent bands that actually had talent. I think I already posted a bunch of Hives videos earlier in the thread. The Strokes, Mastodon and Queens of the Stone Age are all great but there is just so much more shitty music in the rock genre that they are drowned out. 

 

Yeah. I'm not sure what happened. Probably American Idol. But when the 2015 award for Best Metal act is for the parody duo of Tenacious D, something has gone horribly amiss. Now I'm not bashing the Jack Black and KG. But holy hell. Is there no one who knows how to ROCK anymore?

 

Also, I randomly picked October 2014 as a sample of Top Singles. And it had legs...

 

 

This shit is SO FUCKING GENERIC and a load of Auto-Tune crap. 

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By now my tastes should be very predictable.  I like my music dark and ironically sleazy.

 

 

I like dance club music that's about how awful dance clubs are.  I like music that encapsulates aggressive, competitive modern sexuality that at the same time laments how unfulfiling it is.

 

I like music that reflects the empty absurdity that is human existence.

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Hey. So did you know that Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" was about Warren Beatty? Or at least part of it? Do you even know who Carly Simon is? Or Warren Beatty? I mean, come on, how do you not know who Warren Beatty is. He was in "Reds". And "Shampoo". And "Ishtar". Not ringing any bells? Ummm... "Bonnie and Clyde"... "Dick Tracy"... Oh come on, how do you not know "Dick Tracy"?!?

 

Well that's who it is.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/carly-simon-youre-so-vain_564c87cbe4b06037734bc1a3

 

If you are unfamiliar with the song "You're So Vain", simply turn on your local classic rock/Oldies station and they will play it sometime today, usually wedged in between an offering from the Steve Miller Band and something off of The Eagle's Greatest Hits album.

 

 

To sum it up, the song is about a slutty woman who spread her legs for so many men that literally everyone was aware of who her sex partners were. And keep in mind, this was the 1960s and 1970s! But rather than keeping the romantic interludes professional, she formed an emotional attachment to one (or multiple) of her partners who - not surpringly - did not reciprocate her affections in what was clearly a FWB relationship.

 

So she pretends like she doesn't care all while making up this big sob story for a bunch of nameless men who want to White Knight for her because, she kind of is hot. But naturally the woman won't return the favors of her male fans by sleeping with them. No, she won't be slumming. Instead she'll go around banging the likes of James Taylor (yes, that old geezer who went to France after the terror attacks earlier this year) and Mick "Squid Lips" Jagger who would literally hump everything with or without legs.

 

 

Edit: Did... Did Mick Jagger just stop his lip synching to take a freaking drink of soda @1:27? And... And the director of the music video was like... "Yeah. Don't worry Mick. We don't need to do another take. No one will notice".

 

I mean, did he bring the can with him? Or was there just a random open container of liquid that was sitting in the street left by a roadie or some random junkie? Did Mick look at it and say to himself, "Yes, that would whet my palate, nicely".

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Have we talked about mewithoutYou yet? Probably best known for being "that weird band my equally weird vegan-hippie-christian theater buddies like", it actually has a lot to recommend it. It's not the easiest band to pick up, thanks to Aaron Weiss's shifting, unconventional (and sort of terrible?) vocal styles, but they have on offer some of the greatest lyrics I've ever heard. And, really, once you get used to them, they're extremely listenable. Some examples:

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Brother, Sister is an excellent album, but probably one of their least listenable if you haven't been with them for a while.)

So then there's the matter of Aaron Weiss. He's a weird dude, to be sure, and having seen him perform live, I think I would describe his personality as "fucking autistic". I don't really think he has autism, because I doubt someone with serious autism could actually perform in front of people, but holy dick Aaron is a weird guy. A lot of his mannerisms and motions are characteristic of what I think of with autism, like he sways and gesticulates strangely a lot. He denies he has autism, but you can tell just by the fact that he's been asked the question that he acts strange enough for people to start that rumor. Here's an interview to give you an idea of what I mean:

 

 

The Weiss family is pretty strange, too (Aaron's brother is also in the band, as the guitarist - the contrast between Michael who seems normal and Aaron is pretty noticeable when they're on stage). As the last name suggests, their father was Jewish, but converted with their Episcopalian mother to Sufi Islam. The result is the perfect storm of post-Christian Abrahamic lyrical wankery in mwY, with themes taken from Abrahamic/Muslim poets and thinkers like Bawa Muhaiyaddeen and (I don't know this for sure, but I'd bet on it since some of the themes are so similar) Khalil Gibran.

 

Here's a song from their latest album, Pale Horses:

 


 

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The Donnas are a band that sound like a bunch of cheerleaders trying to be The Ramones:

 

 

Later on they tried to sound like The Runaways or Joan Jett's solo stuff:

 

 

Why?  Why do I listen to this crap?  This is derivative, generic garbage.

 

But it is Christmastime, that means it is time to listen to music from when America was great and you could be a transvestite clown or some shit and still be a rock star:

 

There is no escaping from my terrible taste.

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