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Sturgeon's House

Collimatrix's Terrible Music Thread


Collimatrix

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But it is Christmastime, that means it is time to listen to music from when America was great and you could be a transvestite clown or some shit and still be a rock star:

 

 

There is no escaping from my terrible taste.

Well, if it's time for terrible Christmas music, allow me to present the following:

 

Lets start with "Santa Claus is a Black Man."

 

And next is "Fat Daddy."

 

And here is "Here Comes Fatty Claus."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Here are a couple of bands that I'm a little reticent to recommend to people, but not because I think they're bad at all:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oePrtEMmX9Y&ab_channel=NuclearBlastRecords

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNoTvg0t52c&ab_channel=NuclearBlastRecords

 

The reason I lump these bands together, besides the fact that they're associated acts (as you can tell by "The Haunting"), is that they both appeal to the same kind of crowd, I think. They are both, far and away, reliant on their singers. Epica's backing instrumentals aren't terrible, for sure, but Simone Simons is seriously one of the best, if not the best female vocalist in metal in my opinion. Roy Khan, likewise, is one of the top male vocalists in the metal that I listen to (there are other vocalists like Nergal that are remarkable for completely different reasons, but I'd put Roy Khan up against the best clean, classical male vocalists). That's why it was such a watershed for Kamelot when Khan left the band; what would they do after him? Well, turns out they found Tommy Karevik, who's not half-bad himself, and actually does very well in Haven.

 

Anyway, they're "like 'em or don't" bands, IMO. Not the best ever, though I really do recommend you listen to We Will Take You With Us before you make a judgement on Epica, and The Black Halo, for Kamelot. If you don't like them after that, they're probably not for you.

 

Also, I adore Epica for their like, AH.com levels of atheism snobbery. It's just adorable in song form, when sung by such an extraordinary vocalist as Simons. If you want to just bask in that kind of filth, read Philip Pullman and listen to nothing but Epica while doing it. Truly exquisite levels of decadence.

 

I'm calling it ahead of time that Epica will be Bele-approved, because... C'mon, Simone's a real looker of a redhead.

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...Thanks?

Hey, musical taste is a really subjective thing.  Also, I am drunk off my ass and staying up all night watching youtube clips of Don Rickles.  So forgive me if I am being a bit feisty.  

 

Did I mention that Don Rickles is still alive and touring?  Almost 90 years old and he still feels the urge to tour so he can get on stage and be a dick.  You got to respect that level of devotion to one's art.

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