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Collimatrix's Terrible Music Thread


Collimatrix
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Now it is time to spread the gospel of Frank Zappa:

 

 

Zappa's band was so unbelievably tight.  It's amazing they kept up as well as they did.

 

 

The white zone is for loading and unloading only.

 

I have to be the one to say it. But Frank Zappa is kind of overrated. 

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I don't write parodies of damnyank music.

 

I do, however, listen to SWPL-approved music.  No, seriously, my music library is 100% SWPL-approved.

 

I also know what's best for poor people.  Flogging.  Flogging is what is best for poor people.

 

 

So, Pixies.  It had to happen eventually.

 

I was born too late for grunge to be a meaningful part of my identity.  Besides, during the time that grunge was a big thing I was in hippie indoctrination camp.

 

Grunge proper is about self-righteousness, seeking pity and refusal to ever grow up.  It's about status-jockeying, reveling in imaginary victimhood and looking slovenly while doing it.

 

A grunge rocker would take heroin, but only so they could check "junkie" off on the list of pity-deserving afflictions.  A grunge rocker would bang their groupies, but only because they were so damned self-centered that it would never occur to them *not* to do so.

 

Grunge is the pursuit of perfection by the death of the soul.

 

But Pixies are something different; they're the sound of grunge but not the soul.  They're a garage band with a lot of Neil Young and one good idea that they fed into their feed tray and then held down the trigger until there was nothing left.  The music is squealing and dissonant, loud then soft and the lyrics are about the Old Testament and incest and stuff.

 

It's perfect.    

 

 

Also, oh my God, Kim Deal circa 1992:

 

kim-deal4.jpeg

 

THAT SMILE

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So I'm the kid who was in high school in and around the Seattle area who didn't really care about grunge. I mean yeah, some of the songs are OK and Nirvana came from Aberdeen and whatnot. But what was annoying was all of the out-of-state grunge fans who moved to Seattle and started messing with the way things were. Worse they stayed. Worse yet, they made Seattle "cool" which attracted the rich Californians looking for cheap real estate after they had swindled their investors in some dot.com. Worse they stayed. Worse yet they started hiring hipsters and white collar douches to work at these companies, driving up real estate even more, clogging the highways, paving over and destroying all the good old places and making Seattle totally lame.

If I could go back in time, I would show Kurt Cobain the destruction that he helped bring upon Seattle. Or perhaps, someone already did travel back in time but got there five years too late.

*A shotgun blast is heard*

*Roll credits*

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The wife and I go to quite a few flea markets/thrift stores/estate sales.  The weirdest thing I collect are 1960's/1970's era records about trucking.  I don't know why I started collecting them, it just sort of happened because I thought they were amusing.  The king of trucking records is Red Sovine.  He was famous for his technique of talking through a song rather than singing it, telling maudlin stories about truckers, kids, and dogs.  He gave us the classic song "Phantom 309."  People may have heard the Tom Waits version of it.  Phantom 309 was also the inspiration for the character of "Large Marge" in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (Tim Burton's best film).  Anyhow, feel free to wrap your brain around these bits of Americana gone by.

 

This ad is all sorts of awesome.

 

I dare you to listen to this and not giggle hysterically at just how bad it is on multiple levels.  

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This is Electric Six.  If you don't know Electric Six, you're wrong.

 

The best thing to come from Detroit since tailfins on cars, Electric Six is the brainchild of professionally insane alleged heterosexual Dick Valentine (real name Tyler Spencer).  Their music is an eclectic, but somehow harmonious mixture of disco, new wave, metal, punk, and whatever the hell else they feel like.

 

Their early material was very accessible and dance-oriented, but the sound has since become more avant-garde.  Somehow, despite a high potential for pretension, they've kept the music extremely fun.  Dangerously fun.  Dick Valentine's lyrics are the deepest verse of our era; a mishmash of disjoined concepts that always comes to rest on certain recurring meditations.  The young girls.  Nuclear war.  Hair care products.  The Devil.  Drugs.  Presidents of the USA.  Fast food.  William Butler Yeats' seminal poem The Second Coming.

 

What does it mean?  Who cares.  Electric Six is the Cabaret of our times, if Cabaret were actually from Weimar-era Germany and not the 1970s.  Or maybe the comparison is more apt than I know.  Electric Six may be from the future; from some unforgiving, nuke-scarred tomorrow where Detroit is actually the least bad place in the world, and they're here to tell us not to worry about it.  Just don't worry.  See that young girl in front of you?  Just push.  Push.  Nothing could go wrong.

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This is Electric Six.  If you don't know Electric Six, you're wrong.

 

The best thing to come from Detroit since tailfins on cars, Electric Six is the brainchild of professionally insane alleged heterosexual Dick Valentine (real name Tyler Spencer).  Their music is an eclectic, but somehow harmonious mixture of disco, new wave, metal, punk, and whatever the hell else they feel like.

 

Their early material was very accessible and dance-oriented, but the sound has since become more avant-garde.  Somehow, despite a high potential for pretension, they've kept the music extremely fun.  Dangerously fun.  Dick Valentine's lyrics are the deepest verse of our era; a mishmash of disjoined concepts that always comes to rest on certain recurring meditations.  The young girls.  Nuclear war.  Hair care products.  The Devil.  Drugs.  Presidents of the USA.  Fast food.  William Butler Yeats' seminal poem The Second Coming.

 

What does it mean?  Who cares.  Electric Six is the Cabaret of our times, if Cabaret were actually from Weimar-era Germany and not the 1970s.  Or maybe the comparison is more apt than I know.  Electric Six may be from the future; from some unforgiving, nuke-scarred tomorrow where Detroit is actually the least bad place in the world, and they're here to tell us not to worry about it.  Just don't worry.  See that young girl in front of you?  Just push.  Push.  Nothing could go wrong.

 

How does a post about Electric Six go without Gay Bar? HOW?

 

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