Jump to content
Sturgeon's House

Crusader Kings II: Murdering Your Idiot Son Since 769


Recommended Posts

CK2 is a medieval dynastic simulator where you murder Cathars and the Yazidi faith becomes the dominant form of Islam. You usually just end murdering your inbred son so your slightly less inbred son can become your heir. 


The Pope can call a crusade to purge Infidels/Heretics from Europe and the Holy land.



Which can backfire hilariously.



Perhaps more amusing is the situation that can arise from the player/ai using eugenics for the possible heir.



In a low church dissenter worst's nightmare...


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some highlights from my recent Norway game (starting in 769):


The Byzantines going Iconoclast, then Orthodox again.

The Ummayads owning all of Spain, and part of France.

The northern shore of the English Channel being owned by Norse pagans.

Me plotting to kill my firstborn and secondborn son so that my genius third son can inherit the throne.

Said genius son marrying a Tengri Khazar in order to acquire their superior genetics.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the best game I've heard mentioned is a friend's game. He was playing as Venice, and really didn't want to duel with a big powerful Byzantine Empire. Luckily, they converted to Judaism. Unluckly, Italy somehow fell into the hands of a Doge, who made the entirety of Italy a merchant republic and proceeded to go crusade against Byzantium and basically eat all of Anatolia. I hear the resulting EU4 game was basically unworkable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

That's an absolutely terrible thing. You have no idea how painful it is having to go from decacentenial holy wars for a dutchy to having to encourage breakoff revolts to pick away at until you can get a nice de jure claim to a bunch of their territories.


This lesson brought to you by this game:




I spent decades bringing down the mongols. In the end, Rajas of India came out and I lost the game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

Shiny. I'm currently trying to decide whether or not to convert my Venice which is actually Venice, Toulouse, the Middle East/North Africa, a chunk of Russia and Poland game to EU4 while it is exactly as hilarious a cultural/ethnic mess as that sounds, convert to a fun heresy or just ride it out without doing goofy things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...