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The terrible movies and reviews thread


Toxn
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I find it particularly ironic that Star Trek has gone from a cerebral nerd fantasy focusing on political issues and rehashing 1950s and 1960s pulp sci fi stories to what is now a bunch of Frat Boys partying with chicks strutting around in their underwear.

 

They need to change the name to Brahs in Space

 

 

 

So, even with all that technology recovered from alien spacecraft, that's the best we could come up with in 20 years?

Also, Fast and Furious - Starships just makes me mad. 

I would pay to have a Fast and Furious Ate which involves the Fast and Furious crew driving sooped up Honda rice rockets at invading space aliens.

 

Yeah, I'm not even a Star Trek fan, and I even liked the previous two films despite their flaws, but oh my god that trailer is awful.

 

Star Trek: Into Darkness was so bad that it went back into time and made not only the 2009 reboot terrible but also the entirety of Enterprise and all 91 episodes of TJ Hooker crappy as well.

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I find it particularly ironic that Star Trek has gone from a cerebral nerd fantasy focusing on political issues and rehashing 1950s and 1960s pulp sci fi stories to what is now a bunch of Frat Boys partying with chicks strutting around in their underwear.

 

They need to change the name to Brahs in Space

 

 

 

I would pay to have a Fast and Furious Ate which involves the Fast and Furious crew driving sooped up Honda rice rockets at invading space aliens.

 

 

Star Trek: Into Darkness was so bad that it went back into time and made not only the 2009 reboot terrible but also the entirety of Enterprise and all 91 episodes of TJ Hooker crappy as well.

 

You see, thats what i mean

 

J.J. Abrams is a one trick pony who is only really good at peotrizing shit from people more talented than him and filming action movies

 

 

......well i guess thats two, but you get the point

 

Need a guy to do a crowd-pleasing popcorn reboot of a venerated Sci-Fi franchise with a twist on the orginal elements that is far less clever than it thinks it is?

 

Great, but dont do it more than once if you dont want the hordes of nerds to zerg rush your studio's like the grand opening of a Golden Corral

 

Because if J.J. does something on his own, he start to think he himself is a great filmmaker, rip off himself, and make the same movie two or three more times

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Star Trek: Into Darkness was so bad that it went back into time and made not only the 2009 reboot terrible but also the entirety of Enterprise and all 91 episodes of TJ Hooker crappy as well.

I'm pretty sure Enterprise was crappy all on it's own.  My god, that theme song.....

 

 

The only thing worse was the fucking terrible cover of "all along the watchtower" from Battlestar Galactica.

 

 

Seriously, is that a sitar or some bullshit?

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  • 1 month later...

You simply cannot make this stuff up:

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/movies/2016/02/the_coen_brothers_hail_caesar_reviewed.html

I swear that Slate's movie review wankers are having some sort of competition to see when their editor blinks. The editor is winning.

Wow, I only got through the first two paragraphs of that before I had to put on waders to get through all the bullshit.  

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In a world where the Best Picture Oscar could have gone to three really solid movies like Mad Max, The Martian or The Revenant, they give it to some soggy story about pedophile priests whose story we already saw on Dateline. And folks wonder why no one watches or pays attention to Academy Awards shows.

Literally, we watched reruns of John Carter and The Fifth Element when they were on.

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In a world where the Best Picture Oscar could have gone to three really solid movies like Mad Max, The Martian or The Revenant, they give it to some soggy story about pedophile priests whose story we already saw on Dateline. And folks wonder why no one watches or pays attention to Academy Awards shows.

Literally, we watched reruns of John Carter and The Fifth Element when they were on.

   The Martian and The Revenant should not receive "best Picture" awards of any kind. The Revenant is good only in technical level, the Martian is the Gravity on Mars, and pretty generic.

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