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Have you ever wished you had access to a pool of information, but didn't because you had no way to understand it?

 

I have enough problems getting through my English language sources without dealing with the fact that the mustached Germans who wrote about everything in the 1800s write prose dry that I probably couldn't get through a sentence even if it were my native language.

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We speak the bigliest, yugest English. Americanglish.

Fun ancedote; I had some very specific problems when I tried to learn Spanish. I know German well, and I know some Swedish, and there are a surprising number of false friends. 'Es' means 'it' in German, and 'it is' in Spanish. 'En' means 'the' in Swedish or 'in' in Spanish. 'Og', pronounced 'oh, means 'and' in Swedish, while 'o' in Spanish, pronounced the same, means 'or'. 'Y', in Spanish is pronounced the same as 'i' in Swedish; the former means 'and', the latter means 'in'. 'De' means 'of', in Spanish, and means 'they' in Swedish, but it is pronounced 'dome'. It took several weeks before I could reliably keep myself from pronouncing 'de' Swedishly. I still use 'es' in Spanish as the German 'es', which fortunately is fairly interchangeable, at least to the point that I'm understood.

 

Another interesting thing is that whenever I learn languages now, I tend to relate them to German. IE Spanish first person's -o conjugation to German -e, second person -as to -st, third person plural -en to -en, etc.

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Speaking of anecdotes, the the final English exam on Dutch high schools have a time limit of 2 hours. People are still allowed to enter half an hour after the official start of the exam. When I started leaning back and relaxing after 15 minutes, a supervisor came rushing to me:

"...something wrong?"

- "Nah, I'm done"

"... you sure? You did finish all parts?"

- "Yep"

"Well, I can't let you go, people are still entering, you gotta wait for a bit, just... double check your answers".

Half an hour after the start I got waved over to the front and I could leave.

 

If looks could kill, I would have been killed about a hundred times  :D, I could feel the hatred burning in my back. Students in that high school are 'notorious' for speaking bad English. (No, it's not the school, it's demographics*.)

 

Yes, I passed. Thankfully, it was a written exam, my pronunciation was, and still is, garbage.

 

 

* There is a noticeable difference between religious and non-religious 'back in my day'. This is most likely due to religious people not having TV and not watching movies.

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Sorry I can't pronounce "phlemhgerphlemzjeean" properly.

Says Nettheynjieël  ^_^. Like you don't have a sound like the first two letters of my name, we don't have the 'th' sound.

 

Just call me Bronze (even though that's an utter mispronounciation of the first part of this nickname) or Big G, as Colli likes to call me, for some reason. I dunno how he came up with that since I'm neither big nor a gangster. I'm a pasty white dude.

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That's what I'm saying.

Anyone who speaks Dutch or any of its countless dialects is a Dutchman as far as my 19th century sensibilities are concerned. And don't get me started on Alexander Schimmelfennig and his flying dutchmen, he spent the entirety of Gettysburg in an outhouse while his men earned their nickname and fled at the first rebel yell.
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