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Sturgeon's House

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Got it. The kid might not have had food on him, but I would think that the search and rescue people never know how long they'll be out for. It makes sense to carry something. 

 

Also, about the reveal. If you're gonna show this as a "reveal", maybe have Maddie more incredulous or thinking it's still a crazy hobo? Because up to this point, I (And most readers I assume) are seeing that Maddie sees that this thing may be some sort of beast. 

 

Or did you change the other chapters to reflect her inability to rationalize the fact that this thing is a creature of some sort?

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Got it. The kid might not have had food on him, but I would think that the search and rescue people never know how long they'll be out for. It makes sense to carry something. 

 

Also, about the reveal. If you're gonna show this as a "reveal", maybe have Maddie more incredulous or thinking it's still a crazy hobo? Because up to this point, I (And most readers I assume) are seeing that Maddie sees that this thing may be some sort of beast. 

 

Or did you change the other chapters to reflect her inability to rationalize the fact that this thing is a creature of some sort?

 

I changed them. Whether I changed them enough is up for debate.

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Speaking of spending time on one paragraph, I went through my book and reworked many of the chapter introduction quotes. One of my chapter introduction quotes for my sci fi novel is below. I had to channel my inner Alex Jones. 

 

(Who is an interesting guy. I fed him pizza and beer once.)

 

Scene: After climax of book, this guy broadcasting from his apartment

 

 

Oh, SURE, the company and all the news agencies and army and WHOEVER are saying they 'don't know what could have caused such a thing'. They are saying that an investigation will be conducted. HAH! By the same alien imposter's? Can you BELIEVE it? Because I sure CAN'T. They know what caused the uprising. THE SHAREHOLDERS ARE LOST! I saw it right out my window. I saw the carnage that the SHAREHOLDERS and the BUGS and the MIND CONTROL caused. And yes, it was MIND control. The DRAKES are pulling the strings here. The Dolls were a RUSE. The Drakes were here, and they took as many brains as their multi-compartment stomachs could hold.They are LEARNING from us! We are being FED to them by the same people who tell us everything is FINE! That's RIGHT. They still control the company. Mark my words, they will come again. Whenever they're hungry, BOOM! They come here. They cause an 'uprising', and then it's our BRAINS for DINNER! Why wasn't mine taken? Well, I had my HELMET on. Their brain-sucking spines can't penetrate it. And furthermore-

 

-Dirk Digger, broadcasting from his apartment after the Augmented Worker Uprising to his dozens of listeners

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I have no recollection of typing that previous reply, fyi. 

 

Also, I have half of my new book outlined. I had two false-starts on projects that, while good ideas, I couldn't find inspiration to write well enough to continue. This new project is different and fun. 

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On 8/20/2018 at 10:23 PM, Jeeps_Guns_Tanks said:

I've started a newish project, a novel about a P-38 pilot with the 5th Air Force, during the fighting in New Guinea. 

"Doorknob Five -Two".

From there I can't help much. But I have loads of tech on the P-38. (And I can really bore you on the J47.)

One of my grandfathers really knew that plane.  Went in the USAAC in 1938, and retired in 1968 as a CWO4.  He'd held an "A&E" since the early 30's.

He won a bronze star as a mechanic, for keeping P38's in the air under terrible conditions in Italy.

He also had some association with the RAF "Eagle Squadrons", but was still in the USAAC and working on the Mosquito and Spitfire. (Never got a solid answer).

I remember some Brit guys visiting when I was VERY young in the early 70's.  I was just happy (at the time) that they talked to me about Spitfires (I'd seen the BoB movie ).

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