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Belesarius

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Posts posted by Belesarius

  5. Collimatrix's Terrible Music Thread

    in Fiction & Entertainment

    Posted

    Oh yeah, I can see Gwar doing a really superb live show.

     

    Out of respect for the next artist's litigious tendencies towards youtube videos, I will not be posting any audio/visual material.

     

    In the 1970s there was a terrible threat to civilization and apple pie and freedom and life itself.  No, I'm not talking about punk rock or disco or Jimmy Carter's presidency, although those were all terrible mistakes.  I am of course referring to that great rainbow scourge, the gays.

     

    The 1969 Stonewall riots began the campaign of gay imperialism.  Things that had been safely heterosexual suddenly, overnight, became gay.  The color purple.  The word "gay."  Song and dance numbers.  Nazi uniforms.  Tight pants.  Dressing well.  Reading books.

     

    By the end of the decade, only men with disgusting walrus mustaches, poor personal hygiene and poor words in their vocabulary over four syllables long were safely straight, and the gays were coming for the mustaches too.  Breeders were in retreat, and given that the gays had claimed grooming as part of their lebensraum, attracting a mate was getting pretty difficult.  The entire globe would be partitioned between celibate, culture-less morlocks and an expanding army of flouncing, hard-bodied interior decorators.  This is how the world ends; not with a bang, but a... a sound that is like a whimper, but gayer.

     

    But then in the 1980s, God stopped the gays in their tracks.  The Moral Majority interpreted AIDS as God's judgment against the gays, but you shouldn't listen to them because they're retarded.  God's instrument against the gays in the 1980s was Prince.

     

    Yes; Prince, who's early hits included "1999" and "Little Red Corvette," was in fact the defender of heterosexuality who allowed the next generation to be born (that generation would turn out to be the Millennials, but that's hardly his fault).  Yes, the man wore a lot of purple and lace, which at first glance seems dubious, but you've got to understand that he was making those things straight again.  Yes; Prince was the leader of the heterosexual reconquista.  Let that sink in; without Prince, straight people would have been wiped out by the mid 1990's.

     

    Yes, the guy is a weirdo and a vegan, but I think that's entirely permissible in light of the fact that he saved humanity from extinction.

    I think this almost rivals your fanfic. 

  15. Lets talk TV Shows

    in Fiction & Entertainment

    Posted

    For TV right now, Arrow, The Flash and Marvel's Agents of SHEILD is what has my attention.

    My priority TV wise is Agents of SHEILD, as it is creatively controlled by the Joss. Also, whoever is responsible for the current MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) direction should be made CEO and be responsible for a crapton of more decisions.   Because brilliance.  

  21. Current Reads Thread

    in Fiction & Entertainment

    Posted

    From what I can tell, he's a great writer, he was just very lazy and utilizing poor information with those posts.

    But, I got his service record wrong, because I was going off what Wikipedia said (they got it wrong, too). Oh well.

    Great? I dunno about that.  Solid good? Definitely.

  22. Current Reads Thread

    in Fiction & Entertainment

    Posted

    And I still regret not doing an all out push for your blog with calling him out for the factual failures in his post.  You seriously dented his halo with that post and response. One of the many reasons I have a lot of respect for your opinions on firearms.  You talk a lot of shit, but back it up with facts.  Kinda hard to beat that combo.

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