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Sturgeon

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Saw the movie tonight.

 

I agree with the general consensus from the fans that it is pretty poor. The scenes with a couple sets of characters were great. The scenes with the ancillary characters doing the side plot were atrocious. Especially the new characters that got foisted upon us.

 

The best part of both movies 7 & 8 are the extras of the Empire (again, no I refuse to call them New Order) having to deal with the human resources disaster of having shitty leadership.

 

Still trying to keep things vague per all of our gentleman's agreement so as not to spoil shit. So here's what Hitler had to say about watching Episode 8.

 

 

 

Hitler blew his brains out shortly afterwards.

 

(Spoiler!)

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I saw it last night. My biggest complaint is that it needed a re-edit. Many of the scenes were quite strong, and there were a lot of complex and compelling characters, but the editing made it kind of plod along at a really slow pace that felt boring at times.

 

The beginning was atrocious, and made it hard to like the whole movie.

 

Many of the tactics and weapons didn't make sense, although that has never really been a strong point of Star Wars in general (trench run in space lol).

 

Overall, it wasn't the disaster many fans act like it was. I really, really liked a lot of the movie. But it's dragged down by pacing that made it difficult for me to get invested in the action.

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So I guess the Empire (New Order) in the Last Jedi is now racially diverse as it showed some minorities playing minor fleet officers and some of my liberal, SJW friends are talking among themselves about whether they as millennials (their word Sturgeon) should be psyched a.f. about this or offended a.f.

 

...

 

...

 

 

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1 hour ago, Sturgeon said:

I note that this article, which essentially recaps the highlight moments of the flim, doesn't include any mention of the damned casino planet segment.

 

They could have taken that whole bit out and it would have made the movie much leaner and more enjoyable.

 

Everything about the casino planet and the reason to go to the casino planet... just... terrible.

 

Spoiler

Laura Dern's purple-haired Vice Admiral/Princess Leia's "Life Partner" is about the worst character that I have seen in the past several years of flims. She is even worse than the annoying chubby Asian chick who cries and who nobody gives a fuck about but for some reason someone decided we needed a chubby, weepy, Asian chick in the movie because her medallion... thing...

 

We didn't need a new character introduced to be Vice Admiral whatever the fuck her name is to be Princess Leia's second-in-command/"life partner". Because we already had an established, well-loved character from the original trilogy who could have done everything that character was supposed to do, be pedantic about the rules, take the helm in Leia's absence and muddled along, and who sacrificed himself in the end.

 

And that's Admiral Ackbar. Instead we got one line from Admiral Ackbar and then he died for no reason and it was treated as a fucking after thought.

 

Star Wars fans give a fuck about Ackbar. He's a bloody Internet meme celebrity now with his "It's a trap" line. This would have been a perfect opportunity to show conflict between the OLD Star Wars characters and the new young guns Captain Poe while fleshing out his character and perhaps even showing racial/species tension between the humans in the Rebellion and the Aliens.

 

"You can't tell me what to do, my brilliant strategy won the Battle of Endor!" and so forth.

 

Instead, Ackbar goes out like a bitch, just like every well-loved character from the trilogy has died so far and we're treated to this boring plotting, lesbian, human resources manager who is somehow now leading the fleet.

 

I mean, I guess it makes sense. If Vice-Admiral Lesbian Purple-hair is the Third-in-Command of the Rebel Republic's military, no wonder why the the New Order or First Order (The Empire) blitzkreiged the entire Galaxy in 4 months. 

 

 

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On 12/23/2017 at 7:50 PM, Ramlaen said:

The purple haired authoritarian was poorly handled.

 

I was more annoyed at Poe than her.  After all, he is guilty of mutiny, and of being a dumbass.

 

I liked The Force Awakens not because it had a brilliant plot or anything, but because I thought the characters were fun and it was reasonably entertaining.  This movie made me dislike all these characters and was a chore to watch.  If a movie is not fun, and it's not smart, then whats the point?

 

Also, how do you have a bomber in space?  Don't you need gravity to drop bombs?  And if you are going to make a space bomber, shouldn't it be faster than a garbage barge?  I know most Star Wars tech makes no sense, but that crap was just too stupid to get a pass.

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9 minutes ago, Walter_Sobchak said:

Also, how do you have a bomber in space?  Don't you need gravity to drop bombs?  And if you are going to make a space bomber, shouldn't it be faster than a garbage barge?  I know most Star Wars tech makes no sense, but that crap was just too stupid to get a pass.

 

Magnets, I’m serious.

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Here is the thing that is bothering me the most about the debate surrounding The Last Jedi.  Everyone keeps saying its a big contrast to Force Awakens in that it does unexpected things rather than follow the template put forward by its original series counterpart.  Certainly, Force Awakens mirrored A New Hope pretty closely.  But saying that, how exactly is Last Jedi all that different from Empire Strikes Back?  The over-all theme of both films is that the Rebels get the snot kicked out of them.  Yes, lots of minor details are different.  But lets see, young Jedi-wannabe goes to hidden planet to be trained by reluctant Jedi master.  There is a evil spot nearby where the Dark Side lives (a tree in empire, some sort of black underwater vagina thing in Last Jedi.)  Ultimately, the training kinda fails as the young hero goes off to confront the big baddie.  Rebel heroes, a male and female, are on the run from the empire/on a mission .  They go to a posh city with unscrupulous leaders and eventually get betrayed and sold out to the empire.  During the course of their adventures they fall in love and one gets grieviously injured/frozen in carbonite.  Also, big battle against imperial walkers on a snow/salt planet featuring a big rebel base, speeders and infantry in a trench.  Anyhow, our main hero goes to confront the baddie, and instead of there being a final confrontation, things go sideways when the bad guy drops some crazy-ass info such as "I am your father, lets kill the emporer and rule the galaxy as father and son" or "I killed Snopes, lets rule the galaxy together and be the ulitmate power couple."  Our hero rebuffs this idea, and for some reason seems to think there still might be some good in the baddie.  Also, the hero levitates rocks in both movies.  

 

See?  Not all that different.

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On 12/22/2017 at 12:13 PM, Sturgeon said:

I note that this article, which essentially recaps the highlight moments of the film, doesn't include any mention of the damned casino planet segment.

 

They could have taken that whole bit out and it would have made the movie much leaner and more enjoyable.

The casino planet was prequel level bad.

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This is the best review of the film I have read so far.

 

http://www.alternateending.com/2017/12/star-wars-last-jedi-2017.html

 

The last two paragraphs:

 

It is a miserable feeling to not like this film: it does so much that I liked a lot, and the supercut of the film that's just Rey's journey, her discovery of some unsettling truths about herself, and the new strength of will that discovery brings, that supercut would be one of my favorite Star Wars movies. That supercut would also be less than an hour in length, and what fills out the rest of the time is the most palpable filler, serving no narrative purpose, and doing very little to increase our sense of what's going on inside the heads of a bunch of under-conceived characters (Finn is a huge missed opportunity: he should be a complex, troubled figure, and he's used as a slapstick buffoon without fail. Poe was never going to be more than a well-acted stock character, but turning him into a less interesting in every way version of BSG's Kara Thrace is especially galling. Holdo gets the film's best performance, but she has hardly any screentime. Domnhall Gleeson's villain Hux is just annoying and pointless and the film barely even has the energy to make him the butt of jokes).

I am happy for the people who walk out of this movie having had a good time; I am happy for the people who see in it an inspiring challenge to our preconceptions of what this kind of movie can be. I just don't have any fucking clue what has driven those people to have that response. To me, it is a dreary drag, with enough good material to make the bad material reallystand out, and whatever charms accrue from doing unexpected things with the Star Wars mythos are largely counterbalanced by the almost complete lack of plot advancement that happens over this film's expansive running time. The simple fact is, I didn't have any fun, and whatever social, psychological, and narratological issues you want to use the film to talk about, a Star Wars film that's not first and above all fun really just isn't worth very much.

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oh, and here is one of the dumbest articles I have seen regarding the film.

 

https://www.wired.com/2017/12/geeks-guide-last-jedi/

 

Science fiction writer Seth Dickinson agrees that The Last Jedi is doing fascinating things with the Star Wars universe, particularly when it comes to the movie’s surreal presentation of the Force.

“There was a sort of David Lynch-ian scene where Rey goes down into this ‘dark side hole’ and encounters a mirror that turns her into a causal string of herself in the past and the future,” he says. “I thought that scene was fantastic. It wasn’t a pastiche of any other mystical vision. I wanted Rey to have three more of those scenes.”

 

I don't know who Seth Dickinson is, but fuck him.

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3 minutes ago, Jeeps_Guns_Tanks said:

Well, know I know I can wait to see it on demand... if then. 

 

Its got some very good parts.  The problem is that its very uneven and far too long.  From what I have been reading, too many writers are forgiving it of these sins because the terrible sub plots feature the "diverse" characters or because these scenes espouse political views they agree with.  More than one review somehow worked Trump into it.  I hate that sort of shit.  Just like I hated it 15 years ago when right wingers tried to co-opt the Lord of the Rings films as saying something about the war on terror.  Judge the film on it's merits, not some agenda unrelated to it.

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1 minute ago, Jeeps_Guns_Tanks said:

Frankly seeing the walker things with Ape arms killed it for me before I saw anything else! lol

 

It was actually not all that noticable.  For me, the fact that we already saw walkers in Rogue One kinda made them less interesting anyway.  

 

On a totally unrelated note, what exactly does a blaster do?  Is it supposed to burn people?  Does it somehow impart energy into the target?  Does a modern squad of real world infantry actually have far more firepower than a squad of stormtroopers equipped with blasters?  Sci fi nerds want to know. 

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Welp, looks like @Walter_Sobchak has lifted the moratorium on posting Star Wars spoilers.

 

And I'm OK with that.

 

As for the movie, I guess The Force allows for astral projection now. Therefore, it is basically canon, thanks to one scene, that Kylo Ren will be sending dick pics to Rey any time he wants.

 

 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Donward said:

Welp, looks like @Walter_Sobchak has lifted the moratorium on posting Star Wars spoilers.

 

And I'm OK with that.

 

As for the movie, I guess The Force allows for astral projection now. Therefore, it is basically canon, thanks to one scene, that Kylo Ren will be sending dick pics to Rey any time he wants.

 

 

 

 

opps, I figured since I was kinda late to the party on this one that spoilers were being discussed.  

 

The force can also save you from the cold vacuum of space and pull you back into a space ship.  

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1 hour ago, Walter_Sobchak said:

On a totally unrelated note, what exactly does a blaster do?  Is it supposed to burn people?  Does it somehow impart energy into the target?  Does a modern squad of real world infantry actually have far more firepower than a squad of stormtroopers equipped with blasters?  Sci fi nerds want to know. 

 

Who the fuck knows anymore. We've seen like 3 or 4 different kinds of target effects from blasters over the whole series.

 

At one point in the prequels IIRC, a blaster was shown producing an extremely high rate of fire (~2000 RPM) with basically no recoil. This would seem to be the salient advantage of a blaster, but it's almost never shown in use.

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