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Food and Putting it in Our Faces

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This video gave me cancer:

 

I remember seeing a video where they had young chinese-americans and their grandparents who grew up in China try Panda Express, and while the young ones were whining about how it wasn't authentic, the older ones who had actually lived in China pretty much universally liked it.

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This video gave me cancer:

 

 

American Chinese food is perfectly fine and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

The more important thing to look for is the quality of the ingredients. Fresh, locally produced ingredients that are part of an "inauthentic" American Chinese restaurant beats the shit out of "authentic" Chinese cuisine that comes from a can packaged somewhere, god knows where, in China.

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This video gave me cancer:

 

 

I've had 'real' Chinese food on a few occasions, on a few occasions, one at a friends wedding, they had the family wedding dinner at a high class chinese place in oakland. I don't remember much about it, other than most of it was not very appetizing. I think there was sea urchin in one of the soups. There was a chicken course that was ok. Me and the best man went to an all night Denny's after for good food...

 

Another time was when I went to a Chinese Christmas party, at my girlfriends company. They were a Taiwanese company and my GF and her boss were literally the only white people who worked there. They put all the white people at one table in this HUGE restaurant, then served course after course of the smelliest most disgusting shit, it had flippers and fin, tentacles and maybe testicles,  it was the most stomach churning thing I've ever seen!  It must have been great too because all the other people there were happy as clams!

 

Anyway, the only edible course other than the finger food was a lobster dish that everyone (the Mexican shipping manager and his two man crew were at our table, the only Mexicans there), dove at and got a small bite of before it was gone. 

 

We hit a burger joint on the way home.... 

 

I later heard they were supposed to serve out table americanised Chinese stuff, like the dude in that video said wasn't as good as the real thing, but it got mixed up or something. 

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I've had "real" Chinese food down in Seattle's International District a time or two.

 

American Chinese food is better, hands down. Now I'm not saying there is something wrong about expanding your gastronomical horizons. But there's a reason why Almond chicken is my favorite dish.

 

...

 

...

 

Waiting for Mech to holler at all of us while brandishing a beer bottle...

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I've had "real" Chinese food down in Seattle's International District a time or two.

 

American Chinese food is better, hands down. Now I'm not saying there is something wrong about expanding your gastronomical horizons. But there's a reason why Almond chicken is my favorite dish.

 

...

 

...

 

Waiting for Mech to holler at all of us while brandishing a beer bottle...

 

 

Hah, I agree on American Chinese food, heh, I loves me some broccoli beef.    I was also wondering if my post would trigger Mech's return. 

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I've had "real" Chinese food down in Seattle's International District a time or two.

American Chinese food is better, hands down. Now I'm not saying there is something wrong about expanding your gastronomical horizons. But there's a reason why Almond chicken is my favorite dish.

...

...

Waiting for Mech to holler at all of us while brandishing a beer bottle...

Almod chicken is bland as balls dude.

Its like the turkey sandwhich of the American Chinamen food world

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I don't hate Chinese-American food. I like it as much as anybody. It's just different from the real stuff is all. Every country has the same deal. The big thing in Mexico now is Japanese food, and the combinations from the two are great, but I'm sure a few people miss the traditional forms of the Japanese food or want to at least try it there.

 

I just want to try everything. If I don't like it, then that's just something I didn't like the taste of, big whoop. Maybe it's from being born in a neighborhood where my family were the only EFLs, but I'll never understand how guys think they're just the toughest fucking shit in the world, but throw an absolute fit if they're invited to someone's house and throw a hissy because things aren't what they eat every day of their lives. I don't want to sit around worrying what people think about what I eat, and I don't want to die being proud of all of the things I didn't do. I miss the raw, wriggling stuff I ate and learned how to make in Asia, and I get a craving for sesame chicken from the place by the Amish furniture shop. Loving both helped me expand what I know about flavors and combinations and dig into good food anywhere.

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Almod chicken is bland as balls dude.

Its like the turkey sandwhich of the American Chinamen food world

Hey! I'm not just going to sit here and let you bad mouth turkey sandwiches or Almond chicken just because they make it with sawdust shavings over in Putinstan.

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If I had to pick what are the most promising developments in the culinary industry, here's some of the top ones that wouldn't be terribly obvious:

 

Seasonal closings: There are several big reasons why businesses end up closing, and one is slow seasons. There's always this weird demand to keep a place open for a handful of customers a day for no real good reason. Lots of places now are just going "fuck it" and closing their doors for a few months. One place where we're friends with the chef pretty much just went "No work for a few months, but we'll give employees a stipend and a little bonus to come in and clean and help maintain the place during the closing." They're saving assloads by not operating at a loss and wasting money on energy, food waste, wearing down equipment, etc. Employees aren't run ragged like other restaurants and actually get time to set aside for family or personal lives, and they're even thinking about using the extra money to send employees to school/culinary internships.

 

Vacuum Pack Machines: This has been a game-changer on our food truck, and for other vendors I've talked to as well. One of the big things is that it legitimizes freezing a lot. While freezing food got a lot of (deserved) shit in the industry over the past few years, it can still be a legitimate way of preserving food when done right. We can strike on certain foods when prices are low or make complicated things like mole negro when we have free time, then vac it and freeze it. We're neighbors with a guy who goes to Alaska to catch fish, and he has a large-scale vacuum-packing and flash-freezing setup on his boat. Since he does it right, it's the best fish I've had outside of a coastal area. It's so far saved us in the neighborhood of thousands in food cost for a business that only runs half the year.

 

Immersion Cookers/Vape ovens: Back when these were rare, I hated them. They always broke and it was usually just another way of making boring steaks. Now, I can just set up a bunch of these in the pots, set a timer, and walk the hell away instead of having to nurse an oven so that the food doesn't get too dried out. Chicken is soft and juicy again, and there's less food waste from burning food/inconsistent cooking.

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Hey! I'm not just going to sit here and let you bad mouth turkey sandwiches or Almond chicken just because they make it with sawdust shavings over in Putinstan.

But thats where your wrong. Buddy of mine would always buy it when i lived in the states from this local chinese place. And it was always bland. I personally blame it on him being a fag and having bad taste

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But thats where your wrong. Buddy of mine would always buy it when i lived in the states from this local chinese place. And it was always bland. I personally blame it on him being a fag and having bad taste

I'll be honest, I can't argue with this type of logic.

 

American Chinese food is still good though. In fact it is generally better than "traditional" Chinese cuisine in my experience. And it has an awesome history which is part and parcel with the American experience, Manifest Destiny and settlement of the Old West. There is nothing to be ashamed at for digging Chop Suey or General Tso's Chicken or Mongolian Beef or any of the other offerings on a Chinese menu.

 

The story of Chinese restaurants is one of overcoming economic and cultural adversity and providing a good product at a price that's affordable. I can go on but this essay does a better job.

 

http://www.thechinastory.org/ritp/chinese-restaurants-in-america/

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The McDonald's strawberry shake walks in the front door of my mouth bringing good tidings and doses of nostalgia. It reminds me of a better time, of a greasier time. The flavor rools over my tongue like the Nevada winds, i see flashes of me building Abrams models in new housing projects out there in that beautiful red desert baked in the blue skies. Compared to the McDonald's chocolate shake which is riddled with what i can only describe as small and isolated bits of freezer burn as plentiful as it is sinister; its imperfections are masked by real bits of strawberry and the Sryup flavoring they went with. Its strong but not overzealous, it lets the milk and cream work on its own, but it reminds them of who's calling the shots.

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The Fries need no introduction, the tried and true gold brown warriors that guard the flavortown gates have left a lasting impression in all of us. But for every bit of flavorful virtue in the fries lies a strong undertone of sin, of decay. A cancer that eats away at the texture and taste like a swarm of locusts. And this cancer is father time. This particular strain struck deep into the very soul of the fries today, in that we needed to take a detour so someone could pick up a vegetable sandwich. For the purposes of this Majurana induced review they shall rename anonymous, and yes, they were female. When i unwrapped my golden bounty of potatoes i was left in a foaming pool of betrayal at the lack of salt. Had it melted into the Grease? Had they been properly salted? I was able to make it through the large fries since there was obviously some salt, but the greasy paste forming in my mouth as a chewed down another several was just that, a greasy paste. The life and the love had left on a cold day from these fries, and go to its flight before you could make that last desperate phone call. 

 

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Everytime i return to the warm shores of Mcdonalds, the bountiful fish of Filet O Fish hope aboard my nuclear submarine bound for standoff range to flavortown. Tartar Sauce, American cheese, two buns toasted somewhat, and a fish filet. For everything wonderful in life is simple and the elegance of the no nonsense recipe is not lost on me. But all the maxims on uncomplicated fast food inventions aside, there is no substitute for flavor. And you dont need to make that phone call for the substitute, because the professor always shows up to the school on time. Even if his hair is a little frizzled and his dick is still wet from the undergrad student he banged for her to pass, he is still there and thats all that counts. The tender filet breaks apart on your tongue like your doubts on a bottle of fine liquor. The sauce shows up to cool the mood after the cheese makes some edgy although very funny insults. And the bread lets you into the flavortown club while slipping some cheap ecstasy in your drink. Its tough and greasy like sort of a jerky made out bread. But its still good for mcdonalds, and whatever batter they fried the fish fits buetifuly like a nice woman into a suit. Its salty makeup is on and her lipstick glows like the sun through the window of your bedroom so left in a hurry. In sort, its a reliable and dependable sandwhich, flaky sure, but much like the aftermentioned woman, she is there at any time of the day- or night, and her classy subtle beauty is timeless. 

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McDonald's fries are the best part of their menu and are superior to Burger King, Jack in the Box, Wendy's and Dairy Queen.

 

Everything else on the menu is a compromise.

 

Except maybe their Sausage McMuffins with Egg.

 

Sourdough Jack and Wendy's Baconator Uber Alles!

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McDonald's fries are the best part of their menu and are superior to Burger King, Jack in the Box, Wendy's and Dairy Queen.

 

Everything else on the menu is a compromise.

 

Except maybe their Sausage McMuffins with Egg.

 

Sourdough Jack and Wendy's Baconator Uber Alles!

Only reason I go there anymore.  And the occasional order of McNuggets or a McDouble or two when super broke and hungry at 3am.

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Only reason I go there anymore.  And the occasional order of McNuggets or a McDouble or two when super broke and hungry at 3am.

 

I don't know how McDonald's is able to combine puree'd potatoes from Eastern Washington, salt, grease and low grade meth in order to create those addictive things. 

 

Fortunately it has been a few months since I've gone to McDonald's. In fact, it's been a few weeks since I've been to a fast food place period save for yesterday where I went to Ivar's and bought a bowl of clam chowder that I chugged on the go driving from Everett to Seattle.

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