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Rations, Socks, And Can Openers Thread


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Once upon a time when I was a youngling just learning the ways of the HAV, I posted this in hopes of getting the attention of the HAV and as a way of spoofing all the "Top List" threads then prevalent at the WoT Gameplay Discussion.

 

The Top Can Openers of World War 2

 

1) Germany Sieger Can opener

Sieger-can-opener-antique-233_zps28f149b

The superior Teutonic technology behind the Sieger can opener had the highest K:ration ratio of the war and was able to open thirteen cans-to-one when compared to any Allied or Soviet devices. All modern day can opener technology is based off of work from captured German can opener scientists who jump-started the lagging American can opener industry in the late 1950s. Over-engineered and complicated, German industry was unable to produce enough Siegers to supply both fronts and Wehrmacht troops were often reduced to using captured equipment.

 

 

2) United States P-38

P-38_can_opener_zps42436089.jpg

The ubiquitous P-38 can opener was first fielded by American troops in 1942 and was praised for its ease of use and manufacture and saw active service in the deserts of North Africa and the Italian Peninsula. However, by the time the Normandy campaign, the P-38 was already showing its age, particularly when faced by the metallurgic prowess of superior Krupp K-ration tins. Rumors that the Germans had a superior can-opener further demoralized GIs (known as Sieger Fright). The American top brass had actually developed a superior can opener in the larger P-51 design but because of logistic constraints, opted for the smaller and more reliable "John Wayne" and the tactical doctrine that enough can openers can overwhelm any tin can.

 

 

3) British/Australia FRED

Fred_zpsefa2c884.jpg

The Field Ration Eating Device was deployed by Australian and New Zealand troops although the British used something similar. Borrowing from the same tactical doctrine that created the "Funny" tanks, British and Commonwealth commanders required a can opener that could not only open a can of bully beef, but act as a spoon, a bottle opener, an entrenching tool, barbed wire cutter and beach obstacle buster. It was affectionately known as the "F.cking Ridiculous Eating Device".

 

 

4) French Ouvre-boiite, Modele 1912

FrenchCanOpener_zps1cc9f802.jpg

The French pioneered the use of military can openers, creating the pocket-sized "Ouvre-boitte" in 1912. However, post-World War I lethargy and the convenience of using conventional kitchen can-openers in the Maginot Line fortifications left the average French Poilu at a disadvantage when left in the field with only this out-dated can opener.

 

5) Soviet Spam key

SpamKey_zps66f8afc2.jpeg

The beneficiary of American Lend-Lease, the average Soviet soldier fought the entire war on Spam and vodka. Nikita Kruschev publicly remarked that Russia would have lost the war if it had not been for Spam. Technologically inferior to anything that the Germans produced, the Soviets overwhelmed their rations by sheer numbers of keys produced.

 

6) Chinese Spam Key

SpamKey_zps66f8afc2.jpeg

An entirely different tech tree from the Soviet Spam key, the Chinese Spam key offers a unique play style that is totally separate, unique and - repeat - different than the Soviet line. These are completely different tanks... I mean keys.

 

7) Japanese can opener

JapaneseCanOpener_zpsa2e8e550.jpg

The Japanese Army pocket knife/can opener is the embodiment of Bushido. It was forged by artisans who folded superior Japanese steel eleventy-thousand times and was imbued by the spirits of their ancestors. Later models were able to be mounted on the bayonet lugs of Type 99 Arisaka rifles, Type 99 Light machine guns and the Type 96 150mm Infantry Mortar.

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Those Russian rations (and Ukranian ones) look pre-puked for your convenience. And according to a goon who tried them, they're about that bad.

 

They are fine, just heat them properly, they taste like the insides of a microwave burrito and are much more healthy 

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Those Russian rations (and Ukranian ones) look pre-puked for your convenience. And according to a goon who tried them, they're about that bad.

You can buy a lot of what is in the Russian and other east European nations at a good market. 

Some of it looks weird, but short of some canned fish stuff I had, it tasted fine.

 

 

They are fine, just heat them properly, they taste like the insides of a microwave burrito and are much more healthy 

 

You've not had some of the pseudomexican dough encased cylinders of death I've had, I can tell.

Some of the current ones are not bad, but you'll still find ones that smell like they're stuffed with poorly washed chitlins and roadkill.

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The next candidate to propose abolishing the TSA and means it will be President.

I asked the guy what in the actual fuck he thought I was going to do with a tiny can opener on my keychain? The numbnuts actually said "something like that might be used to damage the aircraft". Most useless people on the planet, below the clerks at the DMV. 

Also this. You can cook in it, shave in it, drink with it, heat water in it, and throw it at Carl. 

TZfdRII.jpg

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I asked the guy what in the actual fuck he thought I was going to do with a tiny can opener on my keychain? The numbnuts actually said "something like that might be used to damage the aircraft". Most useless people on the planet, below the clerks at the DMV. 

 

 

They took a tiny swiss army knife from a relative, who was wearing his Southwest Airlines flightcrew uniform (He's is or was some kind of senior pilot). The TSA gave him a similar excuse, he said "I'm the guy flying the plane, why would that thing make a difference?"..

 

Eventually they managed to wrangle some kind of reduced intrusion to keep the morons from stealing or damaging the flightcrew's items.

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On rations, one of the weird aspects of being South African is that a lot of the delicacies here are basically survival food. Examples: biltong, droewors, bokkoms and mopane worms.

On the plus side, this makes sorting out supplies for camping/hiking/fishing/hunting a breeze.

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Yeah, there was some blow up a few years ago with them making some Marine remove his prosthetic legs at the security checkpoint. Never heard what became of that one but I travel enough to say it wouldn't surprise me if it were true. 


Never deploy without it. 

 

Rain poncho. 

x0kPP9P.jpg

 

Poncho liner. 

cZR1XfV.jpg
 

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You've not had some of the pseudomexican dough encased cylinders of death I've had, I can tell.

Some of the current ones are not bad, but you'll still find ones that smell like they're stuffed with poorly washed chitlins and roadkill.

 

Possibly

 

Even for "extended drills" an actual mess hall was always around the corner. and behind that corner was the beer captical of Best Europe (Germany, Czechoslovakia) 

 

Most of the stuff ive bought as a civilian for funs sake is usually the beefed rice, fish, or pork. So its possible ive gotten the crop 

 

That and i eat alot of junk food to begin with, so i have a lead-lined stomach 

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The fact that they are allowed to keep on existing as they are says volumes about the US government. And none of it good.

 

The TSA is an example of vote-buying at it's finest.  Basically instead of jobs in manufacturing, they manufactured jobs, then tweaked the hiring requirements to where it favors those most likely to vote for the continuation of feed-trough politics.

 

 

Yeah, there was some blow up a few years ago with them making some Marine remove his prosthetic legs at the security checkpoint. Never heard what became of that one but I travel enough to say it wouldn't surprise me if it were true. 

Never deploy without it. 

 

Rain poncho. 

x0kPP9P.jpg

 

Poncho liner. 

cZR1XfV.jpg

 

The Woobie is one of the best surplus items one can score.  Beware of reproductions.

 

Possibly

 

Even for "extended drills" an actual mess hall was always around the corner. and behind that corner was the beer captical of Best Europe (Germany, Czechoslovakia) 

 

Most of the stuff ive bought as a civilian for funs sake is usually the beefed rice, fish, or pork. So its possible ive gotten the crop 

 

That and i eat alot of junk food to begin with, so i have a lead-lined stomach 

 Oh yes, you've missed the really bad ones.  When they smell like cat-food, you're in for a gastronomical adventure.

 

Definitely agreeing on Czech beer.  Really wonderful stuff.

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What is the community's stance on paracord?

 

Paracord-Commercial-Type-III-Coil.jpg

 

I know this item is the hip thing for members of the prepper/Sheepdog/tactical community who extol its virtues for being able to MacGyver it into survival stuff. But it seems like just a generic fashion item with people weaving it into bracelets and key chains, making it a cheap way to show that you're "prepared" while not actually having to develop the skills to be prepared.

 

I work in an industry where you need all sorts of bits and pieces of rope and twine and I can't think of one instance on the beach in Alaska for 3 months where I'd really honestly need the stuff or where it was a superior product to - say - duct tape, zip ties or bailing wire (bailing wire is OP, yo). 

 

We have our other "overrated Allied weapon thread". I declare that paracord is overrated. 

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What is the community's stance on paracord?

 

Paracord-Commercial-Type-III-Coil.jpg

 

I know this item is the hip thing for members of the prepper/Sheepdog/tactical community who extol its virtues for being able to MacGyver it into survival stuff. But it seems like just a generic fashion item with people weaving it into bracelets and key chains, making it a cheap way to show that you're "prepared" while not actually having to develop the skills to be prepared.

 

I work in an industry where you need all sorts of bits and pieces of rope and twine and I can't think of one instance on the beach in Alaska for 3 months where I'd really honestly need the stuff or where it was a superior product to - say - duct tape, zip ties or bailing wire (bailing wire is OP, yo). 

 

We have our other "overrated Allied weapon thread". I declare that paracord is overrated. 

The hipster use of it is annoying.  But I like paracord for camping.  It's a nice size rope for general use outdoors in general, I find.

 

Duct tape is life tho.

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