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Collimatrix's Terrible Music Thread


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Oh yeah, I can see Gwar doing a really superb live show.

 

Out of respect for the next artist's litigious tendencies towards youtube videos, I will not be posting any audio/visual material.

 

In the 1970s there was a terrible threat to civilization and apple pie and freedom and life itself.  No, I'm not talking about punk rock or disco or Jimmy Carter's presidency, although those were all terrible mistakes.  I am of course referring to that great rainbow scourge, the gays.

 

The 1969 Stonewall riots began the campaign of gay imperialism.  Things that had been safely heterosexual suddenly, overnight, became gay.  The color purple.  The word "gay."  Song and dance numbers.  Nazi uniforms.  Tight pants.  Dressing well.  Reading books.

 

By the end of the decade, only men with disgusting walrus mustaches, poor personal hygiene and no words in their vocabulary over four syllables long were safely straight, and the gays were coming for the mustaches too.  Breeders were in retreat, and given that the gays had claimed grooming as part of their lebensraum, attracting a mate was getting pretty difficult.  The entire globe would be partitioned between celibate, culture-less morlocks and an expanding army of flouncing, hard-bodied interior decorators.  This is how the world ends; not with a bang, but a... a sound that is like a whimper, but gayer.

 

But then in the 1980s, God stopped the gays in their tracks.  The Moral Majority interpreted AIDS as God's judgment against the gays, but you shouldn't listen to them because they're retarded.  God's instrument against the gays in the 1980s was Prince.

 

Yes; Prince, who's early hits included "1999" and "Little Red Corvette," was in fact the defender of heterosexuality who allowed the next generation to be born (that generation would turn out to be the Millennials, but that's hardly his fault).  Yes, the man wore a lot of purple and lace, which at first glance seems dubious, but you've got to understand that he was making those things straight again.  Yes; Prince was the leader of the heterosexual reconquista.  Let that sink in; without Prince, straight people would have been wiped out by the mid 1990's.

 

Yes, the guy is a weirdo and a vegan, but I think that's entirely permissible in light of the fact that he saved humanity from extinction.

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Oh yeah, I can see Gwar doing a really superb live show.

 

Out of respect for the next artist's litigious tendencies towards youtube videos, I will not be posting any audio/visual material.

 

In the 1970s there was a terrible threat to civilization and apple pie and freedom and life itself.  No, I'm not talking about punk rock or disco or Jimmy Carter's presidency, although those were all terrible mistakes.  I am of course referring to that great rainbow scourge, the gays.

 

The 1969 Stonewall riots began the campaign of gay imperialism.  Things that had been safely heterosexual suddenly, overnight, became gay.  The color purple.  The word "gay."  Song and dance numbers.  Nazi uniforms.  Tight pants.  Dressing well.  Reading books.

 

By the end of the decade, only men with disgusting walrus mustaches, poor personal hygiene and poor words in their vocabulary over four syllables long were safely straight, and the gays were coming for the mustaches too.  Breeders were in retreat, and given that the gays had claimed grooming as part of their lebensraum, attracting a mate was getting pretty difficult.  The entire globe would be partitioned between celibate, culture-less morlocks and an expanding army of flouncing, hard-bodied interior decorators.  This is how the world ends; not with a bang, but a... a sound that is like a whimper, but gayer.

 

But then in the 1980s, God stopped the gays in their tracks.  The Moral Majority interpreted AIDS as God's judgment against the gays, but you shouldn't listen to them because they're retarded.  God's instrument against the gays in the 1980s was Prince.

 

Yes; Prince, who's early hits included "1999" and "Little Red Corvette," was in fact the defender of heterosexuality who allowed the next generation to be born (that generation would turn out to be the Millennials, but that's hardly his fault).  Yes, the man wore a lot of purple and lace, which at first glance seems dubious, but you've got to understand that he was making those things straight again.  Yes; Prince was the leader of the heterosexual reconquista.  Let that sink in; without Prince, straight people would have been wiped out by the mid 1990's.

 

Yes, the guy is a weirdo and a vegan, but I think that's entirely permissible in light of the fact that he saved humanity from extinction.

I think this almost rivals your fanfic. 

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Sturgeon, have you listened to the new album yet?  I got my copy in the mail last week, pretty blue vinyl.  

 

Missed this post somehow. Yes, I have listened to the new album. Not as good as the last one, but it does have this great track:

MBD still has an evolving style. One of these days, I'm gonna wake up and they're not going to be in a genre I like anymore. ;)

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MBD still has an evolving style. One of these days, I'm gonna wake up and they're not going to be in a genre I like anymore. ;)

 

Hah, one day I wasn't paying attention and Kaizers Orchestra (the band this avatar comes from) swung into a lot of hip-hop sounding stuff, which isn't really my cup of turpentine.

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It was the third of September. That day I will always remember. Cause that was the day my daddy died.

 

 

Yes my children. There was a day not so long ago that African American artists knew how to harmonize while combining a complex array of horns, keyboard, a driving bass beat, and guitar while ironically keeping the whole song in B flat minor. All without the aid of Auto-Tune or sampling a more talented artist's work. 

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It's like splitting the difference between Avril Lavigne and Avenged Sevenfold. If that sounds terrible to you, it does to me, too. But for some reason it holds up. At least I think it does. I like it, but I want to hate it. It sounds like the sort of band created because his little girl wanted to be a Real Rocker, and daddy can't say "no", so he got all his musically inclined friends together and they get to suffer along in return for a fat paycheck.

 

Enjoy the Taylor Momsen show. Or don't:

 


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It's like splitting the difference between Avril Lavigne and Avenged Sevenfold. If that sounds terrible to you, it does to me, too. But for some reason it holds up. At least I think it does. I like it, but I want to hate it. It sounds like the sort of band created because his little girl wanted to be a Real Rocker, and daddy can't say "no", so he got all his musically inclined friends together and they get to suffer along in return for a fat paycheck.
 
Enjoy the Taylor Momsen show. Or don't:
 

 

I like her voice. :D

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It has been brought to my attention that this thread doesn't have enough music from The Captain and Tennille.

 

 

Henry Kissinger was a big fan apparently...

 

 

Watching a masterful musician like The Captain work is always inspiring to this Seattleite who also enjoys coffee in the morning.

 

 

As we can see, it is clear why The Captain got first billing in the duo. And yes, it's the hat.

 

In conclusion, The Captain is someone every member of the male species should look up to, emulate and admire.

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