The terrible movies and reviews thread

[LoooSeR]

 

[LoooSeR]

 

[LoooSeR]

   Thor 5: Hulk revenge 7 was maybe best Marvel movie i watched, very funny (pretty good "natural" jokes from situation and characters instead of standart jokes from bad writer list of generic jokes). Part of the movie with Thor and Benner running around on distant planet was bet part of the movie, plot line about doomsday device/evil character taking over thr world was rather boring.

 

[Scolopax]

Muh video game-film adaptations

 

 

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

On 11/16/2017 at 7:54 PM, Scolopax said:

Muh video game-film adaptations

 

 

 

I was literally just about to post this. 

 

I honestly cannot believe this is even real. OF ALL THE DAMNED IP'S TO ADAPT TO FILM!?

 

If they don't bash up a moon base I'm rioting.

[Belesarius]

Infinity War Trailer dropped.

 

 

[Donward]

*SNORE*

 

If only there were a superhero who could save mankind from the incessant onslaught of comic book movies whose whose plot and character interactions MAKE NO GOD DAMN SENSE!

 

So far in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, half the Federal budget is spent on flying aircraft carriers that get blown up for no good reason while beings with the power of gods alternately fight side-by-side or try to punch each other because of ridiculously contrived plot devices.

 

Fuck it, at this point I might as well save my movie dollars up to go watch Wagner's "The Ring Cycle" because it makes ten times more sense than Iron Man 3 or Civil War.

[LoooSeR]

WTF?

 

 

This is worst design for a character, those eyes are super creepy and looks like somebody used those joke filters from some smartphone app.

They seems to me don't understand that eyes should be normal-sized. 

 

[LoooSeR]

 

[Sturgeon]

13 hours ago, LoooSeR said:

WTF?

 

 

This is worst design for a character, those eyes are super creepy and looks like somebody used those joke filters from some smartphone app.

They seems to me don't understand that eyes should be normal-sized. 

 

 

Rodriguez has been dead to me since Machete anyway

[Collimatrix]

21 hours ago, LoooSeR said:

WTF?

 

 

 

Seconded.

[Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect]

I find it refreshing that a piece of live action Cinema has offered themselves as a sacrificial lamb against rampant weeabooism. 

 

By simply showing, not even to a great exaggerated extent, that anime eyes in real life look fucking weird as hell.

[LoooSeR]

Only for Russian-speakers. @EnsignExpendable

Movie is Crimea, made with support of our MoD.

[EnsignExpendable]

Hahaha holy fuck. Has there been a single good movie out of Russia since 1991? 

[Legiondude]

Fuck does this post editor suck at removing quotes sometimes. Was going to mention @Scolopax that a Mega Man movie is also in pre-production

 

In other news, is it time to bring up Star Wars yet, or does The Mouse' money make it "Good" enough to stay out of here?

[Sturgeon]

2 hours ago, Legiondude said:

Fuck does this post editor suck at removing quotes sometimes. Was going to mention @Scolopax that a Mega Man movie is also in pre-production

 

In other news, is it time to bring up Star Wars yet, or does The Mouse' money make it "Good" enough to stay out of here?

 

I haven't seen it yet, so use spoiler tags por favor.

[Xlucine]

2 hours ago, Legiondude said:

Fuck does this post editor suck at removing quotes sometimes. Was going to mention @Scolopax that a Mega Man movie is also in pre-production

 

In other news, is it time to bring up Star Wars yet, or does The Mouse' money make it "Good" enough to stay out of here?

 

There has been some discussion of the new one in the starwars thread

[LoooSeR]

 

[Ulric]

 

[LoooSeR]

I think it is time to tell about my experience watching 2 Neil Breen movies - Double Down and Fateful findings.

 

My face remembering Double Down a day after i watched it

 

   After RLM Best of the Worst episode i hinted my co-worker and movie fan to watch it sometime. After like 3-4 months we finally decided to watch it (we did Flash Gordon and some other crappy films before). Main reason why it took so long is language barrier, we couldn't find many people around us who could watch it without subs and version we had was not translated.

 

   So in December 2017 we finally got together, bought some pizza and pressed play button on a file named Double Down.

Best hacker, assassin, bio-terrorist/activist and jet pilot you ever known in your life

 

   Umm...  not sure how to put it... Let's just say that 2 days later my friend and i saw each other in the office and burst into uncontrollable laugh with almost half of office with 50+ people in it hearing this. Double Down is maybe the most strangest and one of most powerfull cinematic experience i and my co-worker had. He watched a shit ton of trash/crappy B-movies, but even he was blown away with Double Down. Just after film ended he was laughing and screaming in desperation while lying on the floor of the room and i was spining on the walls screaming something. And this is not a joke or exaggeration, this is real and genuine reaction we had to Neil Breens creation.

 

Hacking everything in the same time on just a handful of broken laptops.

 

   Film itself is incomprehensible and affects you on deep psychological levels. It have perfect timing and effects on audience - start as crappy movie about a guy in love with himself, which give you plenty of reason to laugh and enjoy yourself. Your brain easily accept information from the screen as it wants more reason to laugh at it. In the middle information that your brain accepted starts to create sense of "this doesn't make sense", simply because information contradict itself or just doesn't fit to previously accepted parts of script/plot. Your brain start to have cognitive dissonance of some sorts. But Neil Breen doesn't give you room to breathe as he throws even more of his nonsense at you and nearly to the end of Double Down your brain have some sort of defencive reaction to a movie and tryes to vomit all Niel's inscrutable ideas out of your head in form of weird reaction, which is what i and my friend experienced in the end of Double Down.

 

Do i even need to tell something?

 

   I highly recommend Double Down for experienced B-movie viewers as it is an Ultimate trash. The Room is a dwarf in shadow of Double Down mind-bending and sense-destroying cinematography. This Neil Breen's film does not have part of it that we found really boring, there is something almost in all scenes he made. Even stock footage was reason for us to laugh.

 

Medals for destroying every other trash film ever made before Double Down

 

   Watch it in group of 3-4 freinds (at most) with good sense of humor and who can be sucked into movie worlds (not too removed in perception of fiction), you will get best and most powerfull experience from watching a series of quick-changing pictures ever. At least 2 of us had it. 

 

[LoooSeR]

   Several days ago me and already mentioned friend watched Fateful findings

My face after watching Fateful findings and trying to bring my freind back to sense

 

   Overall this Neil Breen movie was less powerfull than Double Down. Although it still has all those NeilBreen-isms from Double Down that makes his "work" so enjoyable.

 

   In case of Double Down film had increasing level of nonsense and crazy the futher you went into it, in Fateful findings highest level of crazy is achieved somewhere in the middle of it and from that point that trash drama start to lose it's grip on viewers (i hoped it would get futher and crazier after kidnapping and rescuing part). Highest point of Fateful findings never get's to Double down (sadly), probably because Neil was going for more "realistic" drama, but it still was enjoable in form of how fucking awkward everything was, from dialog to just simple scenes.

 

 

   Film has this strange feel to it that it was made by some sort of AI made for Hollywood or a weird alien. Everything is in wrong place and awkward, from the way scenes are shot, from how they were writen, from strange editing that could cut scenes before it would have been apropriate and cut to a scene that makes previous scene even more fucking strange. Acting in Fateful findings is also incredibly terrible which only multiplied by editing and the way movie was shot.

Neil Breen being director

 

   Fateful findings have a pretty good ending though, which can be a reason to sit through last 15 minutes of it and i will not spoil it. Parts of this drama feels like Neil Breen's attempt to get a woman.

 

 

   Recomend it to watch either before Double Down, or after it but with lower expectations that what DD could make you think of. Get bigger group of friends than in Double Down, getting somebody very sarcastic will work and alcohol will be good addition to all that.

 

[LoooSeR]

On 08.01.2018 at 1:09 AM, Ulric said:

 

 

 

[Sturgeon]

Mike and Jay talks about how Annihilation proves that Hollywood is full of shit when they talk about female representation in movies.

 

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

They found someone that looks so much like Charles Bronson it's kind of scary.

 

 

[LoooSeR]

   About 2 weeks ago me and friend from work watched last Neil Breen movie so far - Pass Thru. Before it we also managed to survive I am here.......................................................... now, his second film.

 

   I am here......................................................................................................now is a movie where Neil Breen torture viewers by having completely crazy editing - he uses almost all footage in it at least twice.

   I am here......................................................................................................now is a movie where Neil Breen torture viewers by having completely crazy editing - he uses almost all footage in it at least twice.

 

   First movie fucked our brains with incoherent plot twisted with Neil Breen's crazy monologues. Plot fucked our brains with incoherent monologues twisted Neil Breen's first movie. Second one strikes us with way less plot and 100% more incoherent editing and stock footage that made us bleed from our eyes. Second plot strikes us with way more editing and 100% stock footage that made us bleed from our eyes less.

   And Neil is playing Alien Zombie Cyber Jesus. Do i have to say more about it? Do i have to say more about it? And Neil is playing Alien Zombie Cyber Jesus. Do i have Zombie Neil Jesus playing Cyber Alien?

 

 

 

   I am not going into details, but I am here...................................................................................................................................................now should be watched after Double down or/and FF. I am here...................................................................................................................................................now should be watched after Double down should be watched.

 

 

      Pass thru...

   This... video.. thing was a culmination of our viewer experience in last 4 months. Everything led to this movie. EVERYTHING bad is previous moviews Neil didn't just fixed in boring and predictable way. He took worst parts of all his 3 previous works and put them together in a such powerfull visual/audio experience that it transformed from collection of pixels on the screen into lazer beams that fired right into our eyes and melted our brains.

   This Holy Grail of Breenism combines power of Neil's God complex[es] from I am here now, incoherent plot of Double down, terrible story telling, god awfull actor play and dialogue scenes of FF, adds a drop of mind-bending editing of I am here now and creates The Ultimate Neilxperience that flies into space and penetrate planets, melts cities and evil battle space stations with god-like ease. 

  

 

 

   In Pass Thru Neil also grows as a filmmaker adding CGI and duct taping camera to a cheap drone (which we called "Neil The Philosopher Torture Drone").

 

 

   Again, i will not tell you plot or specific scenes, as it is a meat of this movie. But Pass Thru must be watched only after all other films. And he won Oscar for it, too!