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Sturgeon's House

The terrible movies and reviews thread


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What a bunch of twaddle. Hurr durr, these scenes are kind of alike, see Ewan McGregor and Mark Hamill both have their mouths open!

Hidden artistry my ass.

You know what George Lucas did? He watched a lot of old sci fi serials, westerns and war movies at the movie theater as a kid and incorporated them into Star Wars. That's why the original trilogy was good.

The title crawl is copied straight from the old 1930s Flash Gordon serial which was in itself based on the very text heavy King Features comic strips which were popular at the time. In fact a lot of the scenes and action scenarios were lifted. Just troll through the old series on YouTube and you'll see.

Well, that and Kurosawa.

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Watched an early screening of Steve Jobs. It was a decent movie(~7.5/10). It is pretty suspenseful and engrossing. However there are a few moments when the movie does something for no reason like having words of a poem project across the floor. The worse part is that in an audience of about 85% capacity, I had to sit next to some fat guy who laughed at every joke with the loudest and most annoying chuckle. Terrible. 

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I finally got around to watching Jurassic World the other day. It was fun, I guess, but holy shit the characters sucked*. They seemed to be afflicted with a particularly virulent form of what I tend to think of as "acting American"; where two characters will slap each other on the back for 'daring' to do something completely obvious and sensible, or act maudlin over a situation rather than doing anything useful to change it. This was whenever the characters weren't reacting in the stupidest possible way to any given situation - the PMC capture attempt scene and helicopter scene being stand-out examples.


In summary: a coddled lifestyle, in combination with what I can only assume was an amazing amount of lead in the water supply, leads to people who are self-absorbed, cruel and stupid.



*Except the head geneticist guy, who was as cool as fuck. Hopefully the sequel consists entirely of him doing his freaking job and delivering verbal smack-downs to anybody stupid enough to accuse him of 'creating monsters' when that is explicitely what they paid him to do.

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For the record, Americans do not actually act like that; well, not the ones from outside the megalopoleis, anyway.

I should hope not.

The label is simply because it is almost always (movie) Americans who act this way. Even Americans playing non-Americans in an American movie seem to be exempt.

The other surreal thing is this behaviour is almost always coded in positive terms. You're supposed to empathise with the screechy lady and the idiotic man when they sit for five minutes cooing over a dying animal instead of either rendering assistance, ending its pain or moving on to the thing they were supposed to be doing.

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Jurassic World just plain sucked. It could have been anyone playing those rolls and I still would have wished to remove my ass from the theater (had I not paid those ridiculous movie ticket prices)

Luckily I had been drinking that night, which made it more tolerable. 

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Watched it back in 1998 or so.

*Puts on Bad Movie Hipster Glasses*

It's a movie about post-007 Sean Connery murdering people with a Webley revolver and impregnating hippie/lesbian chicks.

What's not to like?

Also something, something Wizard of Oz.




Um, spoilers...

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