Jump to content
Please support this forum by joining the SH Patreon ×
Sturgeon's House

The UK Brave Space For Shitposting and Other Opinions Thread


Recommended Posts

After seeing the rampant crack down on speech in the UK, I decided that more should be done than just Thoughts and Prayers. 

 

I know that it's a scary time for our UK members. Knowing that what you say on the internet can put you on the wrong side of a Bobby's nightstick, well, I find that despicable. 

 

So I've created this place for all your impure or degenerate thoughts. Here's how it works. 

 

Perhaps you want to say something "offensive". Instead of saying it yourself, you can message any US member of this forum and have them act as your avatar of avarice. 

 

For example, say you had a particularly heinous fish and chips at the local pub. You may want to say, "Oi, that cheeky fucker Barnaby William can't do a proper chip if he had a fryer for hands!"

 

This on it's own could send you straight to jail for defamation. Moreso, if instead of chips that sent you reeling it happened to be a kebab from Omar down the street. 

 

Now your crime has gone from offensive to racially insensitive!

 

Anytime such an urge comes along, call on your ex colonial friends. We will translate and post your complaint for all the world to revel in, free of charge!

 

I personally think Omar should learn to pull the fucking kebab off heat before it's crisper than his wife's crotch and blacker than his beard. That tosser!

 

See? Don't you feel better? And now, no one will be knocking on your door, serving you with a summons for being a racist git. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Epic History of the Wolf Whistle

And How France is Considering Fining Anyone Caught Doing It

 

http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20180322-the-surprising-history-of-the-wolf-whistle

 

In France, right now, lawmakers are considering fining people 90 euros (£78) if they’re caught wolf-whistling as part of efforts to combat sexual harassment (how the police would implement it hasn’t quite been worked out). One British politician is similarly calling for a crackdown on it and catcalling. While if you search for wolf-whistling on Twitter, you’ll quickly find women complaining about it being done at them, highlighting the intimidation and fear it creates, an obvious example of #everydaysexism. Wolf-whistling – once thought to be heard by every woman who passed a building site – looks set to be extinct.

 

TLDR: The Wolf Whistle was popularized by the Greatest Generation when oversexed American GIs weren't busy killing Nazis, Japs, and Eye-Ties.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

https://www.overlawyered.com/2018/02/uk-public-health-body-demanding-calorie-cap-supermarket-ready-meals/

 

So now the UK is going after pre made meals in supermarkets, trying to put a caloric cap on the meals.

 

The government is literally telling you what to eat at this point. Holy crap, @Sgt.Squarehead please respond 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So this is a real thing in the UK.

 

https://www.knifefree.co.uk/

 

Edit:

 

There are many misconceptions about carrying a knife. Make sure you know the truth. 

TRUE OR FALSE

_Q

 

If you’re caught with a knife and you haven’t used it, you’ll only get a caution.

 

False

_A

 

Carrying a knife can mean up to four years in prison, even if you don't use it.

 

Edit 2:

 

No one has to go knife free alone.

Whether you carry a knife, are thinking about carrying, or are worried about someone you know getting involved with knives – there is help and support available. It can be a tough thing to do, but these resources can help anyone join the millions of young people who live knife free.

 

Edit 3:

 

When you carry a knife, you are risking everything. Prison, being a victim of crime and even ending up in hospital are all real risks. Beyond this, knife crime has devastating personal effects on you, your friends, and your family.

While some young people pick up a knife to feel safer, they don’t realise that carrying makes them more likely to get into serious danger. A knife can escalate things way out of your control, and make a bad situation much worse.

It might not always seem like it, but putting down the knife will make you safer and help you to reach your full potential. Don’t let prison or serious injury stop you achieving your goals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On ‎30‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 5:20 PM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

The government is literally telling you what to eat at this point. Holy crap, @Sgt.Squarehead please respond

 

Oh we just think of it as rationing.  ;)

 

Seriously.....WTF is there to respond to in that drivel?  :rolleyes:

 

As for the knife thing.....Seems a sensible idea to me, carrying blades will not end well for you as a rule.  :mellow:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Sgt.Squarehead said:

As for the knife thing.....Seems a sensible idea to me, carrying blades will not end well for you as a rule.  :mellow:

 

You were once a proud people, noble and fair. Now you stoop low to the earth, incapable even of cutting zip tie pranks on the toilet paper roll because you believed propaganda about knives making you less safe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

57 minutes ago, Sgt.Squarehead said:

As for the knife thing.....Seems a sensible idea to me, carrying blades will not end well for you as a rule.  :mellow:

 

It's a bit of a culture shock and alien concept here in the Midwest and West regions of the US. Out here, a knife is like your wallet or keys; it's part of your every day kit. The joke is that the cops will look at you funny if you tell them that you are NOT carrying a knife. They are not seen so much as weapons as a universal tool. I couldn't even begin to count how many times I use mine every day. Now that I think about it, it would be interesting to track that.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Ulric said:

 

It's a bit of a culture shock and alien concept here in the Midwest and West regions of the US. Out here, a knife is like your wallet or keys; it's part of your every day kit. The joke is that the cops will look at you funny if you tell them that you are NOT carrying a knife. They are not seen so much as weapons as a universal tool. I couldn't even begin to count how many times I use mine every day. Now that I think about it, it would be interesting to track that.

 

 

I carry this cheap pile of shit opening assist, (switchblade in England), because having a knife I can open one handed is useful in my line of work, and expensive knives get ruined because Chlorine runs everything. 

41Wr99KOriL.jpg

 

At 8 bucks, who cares, I can shit can it and get a new one when it gets dull.  I was buying 50 bucks Gerber brand opening assist and Kershaw, but they either didn't last long or I felt were to nice to ruin.  This evil looking weapon of war does not whisper in my ear to kill people, that's my guns job. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Jeeps_Guns_Tanks said:

 

I carry this cheap pile of shit opening assist, (switchblade in England), because having a knife I can open one handed is useful in my line of work, and expensive knives get ruined because Chlorine runs everything. 

41Wr99KOriL.jpg

 

At 8 bucks, who cares, I can shit can it and get a new one when it gets dull.  I was buying 50 bucks Gerber brand opening assist and Kershaw, but they either didn't last long or I felt were to nice to ruin.  This evil looking weapon of war does not whisper in my ear to kill people, that's my guns job. 

 

 

I've been rocking the Böker Automat Kalshinikov 74 for years now, and I cant' say enough good things about them. It's a ~$40 knife that I abuse on a daily basis, and it just keeps coming back for more. The first one I retired after I broke the tip off trying to dig an M61 penetrator core out of a steel plate, but it makes a good flat blade screw driver now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Jeeps_Guns_Tanks said:

 

I carry this cheap pile of shit opening assist, (switchblade in England), because having a knife I can open one handed is useful in my line of work, and expensive knives get ruined because Chlorine runs everything. 

41Wr99KOriL.jpg

 

At 8 bucks, who cares, I can shit can it and get a new one when it gets dull.  I was buying 50 bucks Gerber brand opening assist and Kershaw, but they either didn't last long or I felt were to nice to ruin.  This evil looking weapon of war does not whisper in my ear to kill people, that's my guns job. 

You and my wife have the same knife, fyi.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/1/2018 at 7:47 AM, Sgt.Squarehead said:

 

Oh we just think of it as rationing.  ;)

 

Seriously.....WTF is there to respond to in that drivel?  :rolleyes:

 

As for the knife thing.....Seems a sensible idea to me, carrying blades will not end well for you as a rule.  :mellow:

My question is, who would know you even had a knife on you? You aren't slapping a Bowie to your hip. 

 

It's easier to carry than a pistol that's for sure. 

 

So why would something end up bad for you if you carried something that no one else knew you had, unless you brandished it? And why would you brandish it? For self protection or a utilitarian need. So one case you're fucked regardless, and another you're opening a box of crisps or something.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why does 'Snowcrash' suddenly spring to mind. 

 

On ‎02‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 4:23 PM, Oedipus Wreckx-n-Effect said:

My question is, who would know you even had a knife on you? You aren't slapping a Bowie to your hip.

 

You have to understand, this isn't something that grabbed my attention until you pointed it out, but what it is primarily addressing is tossers using knives in the sort of casual violence that is comparatively common in the UK, especially at pub turning out time.....If we were meant to use knives for that god wouldn't have given us fists (or such thick skulls).

 

As for the 78 year old who took down the burglar, good on him.....I suspect the CPS will determine there is no public interest in a prosecution (unless he has made a habit of shivving people over the years), however after the 'Nazi-Pug' incident, I wouldn't completely rule it out.  Must confess I am beginning to have grave doubts about our judiciary.

 

All in all it must seem rather quaint from Murican shores.....But we survive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...