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Sturgeon's House

Competition Suggestions


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4 hours ago, roguetechie said:

Btw, I'm game for the contest for sure just don't expect sanity or for me to use milspec components... Fuck y'all if i wanna build a supercluster out of nokia lumias I'll do it god damnit!


P.s: any objection to my doing a sorta halfbakery laden cartercopter mu dicking slowed rotor autogyro thing?


Backup plan is a straight up james bond is real narcissist fucktard slaying magnus effect and more conventional propulsion hybrid amphibious stol death weasel.


So much of the time I just have no idea what you are saying, and I even understood all those references.

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LOL... I'm sorry I'm really trying to work on that, it's going poorly.


Basically my primary entry idea is a combat autogyro which shamelessly rips off the work done by carter copter to make autogyros that can "jump takeoff" and possibly vertically land too which can exceed what has previously been a hard and fast speed limit involving the greek mu symbol which has something to do with transonic or supersonic tip velocities of the rotor.


Carter copter uses a slowed rotor technique, a proprietary airfoil and rotor design, larger stub wings designed to provide high lift to take over much of the rotor loading as speed and tip velocities approach mu, and i believe even actual turbine thrust rather than prop ducted fan or turboshaft/prop. 


I would call it something stupid like the sturmopig... Aka sturmovic and pig hybridized to insinuate heavy armor, ground attack role, flying pigs, and Stalin! (And that i watched way too much of the cartoon with the seaplane and jungle book characters tail spin)


My random switch to ranting about something with a tether was alluding to building an autogyro like version of the classic tethered surveillance aerostat, but armed and using "solar", relatively nonstop high speed air current available at several hundred feet AGL and up, taking advantage of temperature and pressure differentials like parasailers do but different, another batshit nuts power harvesting scheme, and a couple other completely ill advised technological plot twists for flavor.  This is based off of multiple very real and even currently used green energy schemes involving tethered quadcopters, spinny inflatables, kites, and etc to harvest high speed air movements and make electricity with it. They work too... Also throwback to luft 27and 2/3 by giving a nod to the foch achgelis tethered autogyro towed aloft by the uboat below and actually used in ww2.


Basically an almost crazy enough to work tongue in cheek diss rap targeted at wehraboos gerpaderps hippies and wind power (fucking farce that it is) in the form of a contest entry... 


Campy taglines like wanat won't be my Alamo and etc would abound and hilariously enough you really could probably swing something like it IRL.


Third entry option is based off a proposed very unorthodox "VTOL STOVL VSTOL" nominal "boat" design since i found it on yachtforum. Really it's a "hovercraft" "ekranoplan" "WIGE" amphibious aircraft a la grumman goose a 60+ knot foil and airfoil based speedboat AND uses magnus effect "rotors" plus other propulsion etc means simultaneously.


Sounds like a hot mess right?


It is, but kind of an intriguing one! 


Basically the premise is you take a pair of NGATE turboshafts in the right size and power bracket, marinize them, pod them up so you can get "blown flap/upper surface blowing" style help from strategic intake placement. Also, borrowing heavily from senior citizen and other crazy tactical airlifter concepts you have the actual engines fairly well buried inside the vehicle as well as using a secondary directional and vertical thrust augmentation scheme consisting of something like the boeing patented "pulse ejector thruster array" some believe is used on senior citizen in a similar manner.  Basically they're pulsejets that suck far less and can be arrayed and installed in ways that allow pretty biblical amounts of vertical and directional thrust for very reasonable weight and bulk but hilariously ridiculous fuel demand.


In my concept the PETA's (pulse ejector thruster array) are installed as sort of ersatz puffer jets and 90 degree rotatable thrust nozzles like harrier had with the pegasus engine that are instead stand alone and in a few places multi dof steerable on demand by aircrew and automatically through the fbw system and in response to threats, collision avoidance, and etc. (F16 has a sorta similar setup, and other features cadged from APS stuff, f35 tech and etc... Basically sound technical ground and mentally unstable conceptualization)


So this multithing is basically part hind gunship part harrier part sea phantom and part "sea fighter" (a fictional LCAC based littoral combat hovercraft... Commander amanda garrett series and joe buff is the author i think?) & part senior citizen... Because i hate myself?


Like grumman goose it has vestigal deformed but still functional deployable landing gear for land landings... Heh


From Sea phantom it got ultralong travel baja racer style shocks and airbag mounted deployable foils about 2/3 of the way out on wing sponsons of the vertical foil type like the seadart seaplane jet fighter and a single steerable 6 dof deployable semi conventional horizontal planing foil... In "boat mode" it'd likely run really damn fast with good range. Basically, this is mostly an intra to intertheater strategic mobility use.


In hover and forward flight it uses a pair of magnus effect style "rotors" kinda buried in the inner 2/3 of each wing, the aforementioned "viffing"/auxiliary vertical thrust arrays, and an apache helicopter IR suppression exhaust system and p51 cooling system "meredith effect" combination.  Between pretty lulzy low stall speed and details yet to be revealed it should be able to do apache type things in slightly altered ways.


Remember i mentioned HIND? Yeah it'll have a passenger compartment sometimes, other times it'll just super size it's dakka.


Final disclaimer: all of these concepts can actually be made and achieve controlled flight without handwavium or speculative future tech... The descriptive shit and purported capabilities are all theoretically possible but would likely be expensive/nowhere near as bitchin as i imagine


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Funny; I was thinking just the other day about the feasibility of ground effect battleships. Certainly they solve one of the main problems that ships have ITO getting slapped by attack subs. And, if designed right, they won't so much crash as turn into a boat.


They're still shit out of luck in rough seas, though.

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Oh I'm going to straight up admit that my weird ass wige gunship seaplane with gender dysphoric disorder is completely inspired by vehicles from shadowrun and other cyberpunk called "panzers" & or "t-birds" which were basically "skirtless" hovertanks repurposed to gunrunning and other high value low volume cargos across borders between the various countries which now make up the former continental US...


More or less ridiculously heavily armed bootleggers in a dukes of hazzard / early nascar era only in the phased array radar and s-400's for home defense hypercapitalist darkfuture...


I found this crazy ass idea on yachtforum and was like OMGWTFBBQ T-Birds are actually maybe doable!


And thus an obsession was born... I blame the seaplane part on narcissist fucktards, the carrier mafia, and it's hateful killing of the p6m seamaster...


Narcissist fucktards gotta ruin everything you know


(Omfg I'm ashamed to admit that as i wrote the last part my brain screamed WAIT .... wheeled deathtraps, TBATE (The battle against the earth), and then had a disassociative psychotic break)

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There really are multiple companies using essentially tethered quadcopters as high altitude wind generators BTW...


When my buddy and i originally came up with the utterly insane idea of doing similar stuff with an autogyro form factor it was mostly just various kite generators or vaguely waterwheelesque shaped tethered aerostats able to generate electricity by being spun by atmospheric air currents.


Our general thought process was that you could probably tow a baby autogyro deal on a trailer behind a humvee and once you sunk the bigass anchors into the earth you could have OP's with pretty awesome close to 24/7 views and the ability to drop small guided glide munitions on natives who get froggy at will.


Basically a sorta possessed by satan barrage balloon with delusions of spectre gunship grandeur

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

May I chuck one into the mix?  How about deployable defence system(s) to protect large crowds in the event of a terrorist attack/mass murder attempt.  Seriously.


Some friends and I picked over the events at Manchester Arena and came to the conclusion that the only thing that might have made a difference (apart from not letting the little bastard back into the country) would have been the presence of explosive (only) sniffer dogs in the atrium (drug sniffer dogs would be a bloody nuisance here and not just to the fans, if they want to kill themselves that's fine, taking others with you is what we are trying to prevent here).

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  • 6 months later...

Another tank-related contest suggestion:


Dummkopfpanzer 2018


Congratulations! You are the lucky designer chosen to develop a new tank/SPG, designed to take on the most capable vehicles the world has to offer.


Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond your control* you cannot use modern, state-of-the-art electronics, armour arrays or weapons. Instead, you will have to make do with older technologies and easily available commerical stuff, applied in creative ways.


Design goals:

  • Vehicle may be tracked or wheeled.
  • Vehicle must mass less than 75 metric tonnes.
  • Vehicle must be capable of taking out modern MBTs and other AFVs head-on from at least 500m away.
  • Vehicle must be capable of surviving at least one impact from a modern tank gun/ATGM across at least the frontal arc.
  • Vehicle must be capable of moving over rough and broken ground, fording a 1 metre-deep river, and climbing a 30' slope. 
  • Vehicle must have a top speed of at least 30km/h on open ground.


Bonus goals:

  • Vehicle masses less than 50 metric tonnes.
  • Vehicle capable of being shipped by road/train and ready for normal operations within 3 hours of unloading.
  • Vehicle capable of taking out modern MBTs and other AFVs from over 1km away.
  • Vehicle capable of taking out modern MBTs and other AFVs from over 2km away.
  • Vehicle capable of surviving multiple inpacts from modern anti-tank weapons across frontal arc.
  • Vehicle has fully traversing turret.
  • Vehicle has good mobility in urban environments.
  • Vehicle has plausible first-round hit capability against a static, tank-sized target at least 1km away.
  • Vehicle has plausible anti-helicopter/anti-air capability.
  • Vehicle has plausible night-fighting/low-light capability.
  • Vehicle has plausible anti-infantry/anti-bunker capability.


Design restrictions:

  • Armour: combinations of common steel grades (in various configurations), aluminium alloys, glass, rubber, common plastics, GFRP and simple ERA tiles. Other materials can include structural steels, concretes, reinforced plastics (including some use of carbon fibre/kevlar), common stones and aggregates, commonly-produced ceramics, common alloys and other easily-available materials.
  • Armament: HE, full-bore AP, APHE, 1950's-era HEAT, 1950's-era guided missile technology, unguided rockets etc, weapons made using current easily-available consumer electronics, weapons made using current-generation home and light industrial-level design and manufacturing capability.
  • Optics, fire control and sensors: all-glass optics, easily-available consumer electronics.
  • Motive and power systems: common current-generation commercial engines and drive systems.


Submission requirements:

  • Background and justification of project
  • Technical description
  • Images and/or 3D models of project


Judging criteria:

  • Number of design and bonus goals achieved
  • Design achieves other useful goals
  • Creativity in problem solving
  • Plausibility of solutions
  • Applicability to stated background/justification 



  • Specific prize/s TBD
  • Prize to first place entrant only (to avoid dilution)
  • All entrants ranked and commented



* The leader-for-life had a great idea/the bean counters refuse to pay for the fun stuff/your industrial base is strained to breaking point/all the factories for making nice gizmos are in China, who you are at war with/you're building this thing out of a garage in the Gaza strip/etc.

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   After Far Cry 5 i am interested in Jihad design bureau opening their North American division - Redneck Freedom Bald Eagle design bureau with Ford pickups with HMGs and all sorts of Hell Cannons on 1968 Cadillacs.






Abu-Ivanka (Trump) speeches will be coming out of those speakers



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22 hours ago, Toxn said:

I think our last design-a-jihad competition failed due to concerns about us all landing on watch lists.


You can put a hell cannon on your dummkopfpanzer, though.

We already have a thread with real Jihad design bureau creations, with high quality detailed photos of some of those devices.

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  • 1 month later...

What about an modern MBT? I'm not very eloquent with words, so I'm just gonna be semi-blunt: 


(In a fictional universe where Russia can build more than 30 Armatas a year) NATO strategists are panicking over the introduction of the Armata heavy universal platform in the Russian Federation. The remote main turret, active protection, high tech electronics and situational awareness aids, and separated/encapsulated crew compartment have sent chills down the West's collective spine. In their terror, they have turned to you (the scum on the internet) to draft up designs to combat this new mechanical monster! 


Basic Design Requirements (all criteria with asterisks and 3 more of your choosing): 


  • *Be less than 63 metric tons without additional armor packages. 
  • *Have a weapon system that can get past the hard kill Afghanit APS (lets assume it doesn't work on projectiles traveling above 1500 m/s). 
  • *Have a weapon system that can penetrate the Armata within it's frontal arc (turret doesn't count). 
  • *Be able to engage the Armata at 2.5 km. 
  • *Be transportable by railcar, somehow (can have some disassembly). 
  • Have some parts commonality with, or be based off, any MBT or AFV/IFV currently available in NATO (Including Poland, but not Ukraine... cause they're not part of NATO). 
  • Be able to withstand Vacuum-1 at 2km and Kornet-EM along the frontal arc. 
  • Travel at 60 km/h. 
  • Crew of 3. 
  • Crew must be separated from ammo/engine compartments (doesn't have to be a capsule).  


Advanced Design Requirements (extra brownie points :))


  • Be less than 55 metric tons without additional armor packages. 
  • Be able to engage the Armata past 4km. 
  • Able to withstand Vacuum-1 at 500m and Kornet-EM along the front arc. 
  • Has an active protection system. 
  • Can travel at least 70km/h. 
  • Crew of 2. 
  • Use the "brute force method" (KE projectiles only). 



What do you guys think? 

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